We need to think sometimes

Grace’s post ‘the truth is…’ got me thinking. I have been letting my mind wander back to when I first started writing the blog. I have been thinking about what I wanted when I started, or what I said I wanted, or what I thought I wanted. If someone had asked me if what I wanted has changed I would probably have said no. But I don’t know, maybe it has.

I have always thought I wanted a dd relationship. But do I, really? This has never been something Nick is comfortable with. I don’t push it much any more. And I have to ask myself would I be happy with him really taking charge of everything including me? I don’t know, maybe if he were comfortable too. I do love the fact that he holds me to our agreement on the diet. I know that that is the only reason I continue to lose. All really know for sure is that I am very happy with the way things are now!

I do know one thing about this time in Grace’s life. I believe for spankos the age of her children is by far the most difficult. We first tried spanking almost 5 years ago when our kids were the age Grace’s are now. And I know one thing, at least one is always around and they never sleep! We had to sneak to the basement, not the washer Eva; we actually had a bed down there! But the idea of spontaneity was out of the question!! Between that, not having found blogs and the support I have found here, and real life attacking aggressively it died out... for a while.

Now I am going with the flow. I know reading blog gives me idea and keeps my search alive. As I read more I find people about whom I can say ‘Yes that is just the way I feel!’ Or sometimes ‘No, I know that would not be something I would want to try.’ All I know for sure is that I like reading out here. I like sharing my ideas, my feelings and my questions.

I know what it was like before spanking and blogs gave me the courage to open up to Nick and be the wife that I wanted to be. So am I the prefect wife now? LOL! Not by a long shot. But the closeness we have developed has stunned and amazed me. Even a year ago if someone had told me of the changes coming into my life, of the absolute joy I have experienced because of these changes, I would have told them that they were out of their minds!

Will we spank forever? I think yes, it will always be around in some form. At least I hope so. I know that what it does for our sex life is unsurpassed. The combination of spanking and blogging seems to be working for us. It keeps us loving and talking and what more could any couple ask for?