Men are you listening?

This is another post I did over a year ago. A commenter had mentioned that she had tried to talk to her husband about spanking but he didn't seem to realize she was serious and nothing was happening.

I hated that for her - and for him too, so I wrote this. Kinda another letter to the guys. But that was often were my mind was. I was ready to do public service announcement for spanking in general. I know that some of the people that I am really talking to our here aren't likely to comment. It's scary, I remember. But if this helps someone come out it's worth the re-post. But if you would like to talk please leave a comment or feel free to email elisspeaks@yahoo.com

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Guys – snap out of it! What do you want? Do you want a happy, close relationship with your wife? Do you want a woman with an entirely new attitude on sex? Do you want a woman who feels such love for you for allowing her to open up to you about something that means so much to her? You can have it!! It’s right there; she is begging you to understand!! Can’t you hear her screaming? Of course not, she is doing her begging and screaming in her head. She had tried to tell you and you blow her off, laugh a little, shake your head at her ridiculous request. After that happens we learn to shut up. But the longing doesn’t go away. It just keeps getting deeper and deeper along with all the rest of her feelings and emotions.




And then you have the gall to wonder why she lacks interest in sex? Well let’s see how you would feel if your wife says “Sure I will have sex with you but let’s don’t involve your penis. I won’t touch it and don’t let it touch me, but sure let’s have sex.” I know this is ridiculous but for some of us women the desire to be spanked is a central and overwhelming part of our sexuality. And you are asking her to engage in sex but denying her the one thing that she knows will turn her on.

I was so lucky and trust me I do know it! I didn’t have the courage to come out to my husband for 23 years. I robbed us both of those years when we could have been so close. But once I got up my courage he did listen! No he did not fully understand, probably still doesn’t but his willingness to hear what I was saying and try my ideas allowed me to change from a sexual frigid repressed woman to a warm sexual being happy and anxious to experiment sexually anyway either of us can think of.

I know that husbands that don’t want to hear this are also not reading here. I know I am preaching to the choir but please, please girls give it one more chance! They have to be willing to try! If they give it a fair chance and they just don’t like it well, I guess we can’t ask more. But fellows if the love of your life hands you this to read and you won’t even talk about it, if you are not even willing to try, well then maybe you don’t deserve this wonderfully brave women!

Since you asked...

Todd and Suzy asked a question that you would think had a fairly simple answer–

How much do you think the spanking element of your diet has helped? Does it actually impact food/gym decisions you make?

When I started to answer I realized that for me the answer was not so simple after all. Strangely enough it made me thing of something our preacher said Sunday. It spoke to the underlying feelings that I think many spanko have. He said the opposite of love is not hate; the opposite of love is indifference. Hate takes caring, it takes energy, and it takes emotion. Indifference is much sadder.

This ‘spanking diet’ has been the constant since I came out to Nick about spanking. Stepping on the scale each Friday I had three huge questions in my mind. 1) Have I gained or lost? 2) If I have gained is Nick going to spank? Or 3) is Nick just going to let it go. And of the three the last one was the one that I worried about the most. Indifference. It scares me, it makes my chest hurt. This is something that Carye and I often discuss. Although we often worry about how bad the spanking might be the worry about the chance he might just blow it off or forget the whole thing is much more painful.

Nick has not done that. On reason I tried so hard at the beginning of the diet was that I didn’t want him to think I was ‘testing’ him, trying to force him to spank if he didn’t want to. I was afraid he would say ‘You are not even trying, let’s just forget the whole thing.’ At first I was more worried about that than the spanking. It has taken about a year to begin to let go of this fear (okay, I’m slow). And yes even now when we go a long period and there is no spanking I still worry.

So spankers I may just be speaking for myself, but I have a feeling I am speaking for a lot more of us – when we finally get up the courage to tell you that we want you to spank we often don’t make it clear to you what we are really saying. That is to us – spanking equals caring. When you spank you show us you care. If it is all in fun and erotic it shows that you listened and cared about what we want. If you spank because of discipline you show you care about us, our safety, our well being, everything. I think that is what we really want, to know that you care.

Well Todd, Suzy I bet you won’t ask me another question! You got the long version. The short version is now that I am more secure that he is not going to ignore a gain, now that I am more secure in the knowledge that he really cares, now that I got that damn hairbrush – the answer is yes, knowing he is going to spank my butt with that brush is one reason I go to the gym when I don’t really want to go and I will eat a Hershey’s kiss instead of a huge candy bar. The other way spanking effects the diet is that Nick’s willingness to spank shows me he cares for me; I work hard to loss every week to show that I care for him.