Not the best week

A lot of things happened last week – and not many of those things were good. Nick’s Dad has been having more problems. I know that at the age of one hundred we can’t expect great improvements, but he is having real trouble standing. 

He hasn’t walked much lately but he could stand for short periods, to shave, to get dressed and to transfer from one chair to another. But he can’t now. A couple of times he’s tried to get out of bed only to find himself in the floor and completely unable to rise. That meant he could be there a while. The ladies who help out couldn’t get him up so they would call one of the kids. A problem with living to be a hundred is that your kids aren’t spring chickens either. Two are in their 70’s and the others in their 60’s. 

 

They finally took him to the hospital and after he came home for a short time – they realized that he really couldn’t stay there. The oldest daughter took him to her house as she looked for a rehab bed in a facility hopefully close by. While he was there, daughter’s husband hurt his back trying to help. They finally got him a bed in the same facility where my MIL lived the last few months of her life. It seems to be a good place, but just a few minutes ago Nick tells me they’ve taken him back to the hospital because of ‘rattling’ and rough breathing after he threw up. They are afraid of aspiration. As we all know, old age is not for the faint hearted.

 

Then three days ago I got a text from the daughter of my best friend, my teaching partner for ten years before she abandoned me for retirement. While on a short trip she fell – and broke a vertebra her neck in three places. The first hospital wouldn’t take her, they said she needed a trauma center. She had to travel two and a half hours away to Tennessee. 

They decided she didn’t need surgery, but she will be in a neck brace for twelve weeks – can’t take it off for a minute. Her daughter went to be with her and she and her dad got a hotel close by. He coughed all night and yep, the next morning he tested positive for Covid. He’s fully vaccinated, but he’s really not feeling well. Their son is with him, while the daughter stays with her mom. Everyone is scared my friend will come down with Covid also. Coughing? In a neck brace? With a broken neck? Well, you see the problem. In the midst of all this the daughter gets a text from her husband telling her that their daughter, age ten, just started her period for the first time. Don’t you know she wants her mom or grandma with her. Talk about a hectic time. The daughter is a teacher so throw that into the mix too.

 

Thanks for listening to my woes, but I will end on a high note. Yesterday the warrior princess, after dealing with seven and a half year with seizures, has now gone four and a half months without one – the longest seizure free period since they began. That seems like a miracle – now if we can just get a couple more.

 

 

A meme from the past

This is a meme from long ago. When I ran across it I thought it would be fun to answer them again. I hope some of my fellow bloggers with try it too.

The phone rings. Who do you want it to be? 

One of my kids.

When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart? 

Always

In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener? 

I think I am pretty good at both.

Do you take compliments well? 

Yes, I say thank you and move on. However, I rarely believe them.

Are you an active person? 

Nope, not at all, but I wish I was.

If abandoned alone in the wilderness, do you survive? 

Probably not for very long.

Do you like to ride horses? 

I did as a kid, but I haven’t in years.

Did you ever go to camp as a kid? 

No way. I didn’t like the idea of being away from my parents.

What was your favorite game as a kid?  

Anything make-believe.  It’s still my favorite game.

A sexy person is pursuing you, but you know that he/she is married, would you? 

Nope

Are you judgmental? 

Not about most things.

Do you like to pursue or be pursued? 

It’s been so long I can’t remember.

Use three words to describe yourself. 

Relaxed, content, optimistic

If you had to choose, would you rather be deaf or blind? 

Pretty nasty things to choose between.  I think most people would say deaf knowing how horrible it would be to lose your sight.  But my grandmother and later, my mother, were so hard of hearing that they were very isolated.  Not many took the time to communicate with them. Losing your hearing can really plunge you into loneliness. Being able to communicate by computer would have helped this.

Are you continuing your education? 

In the real world yes. Academically, no.

 

Do you know how to shoot a gun? 

No 

How often do you read books? 

I don’t read too much, these days I listen and I listen to several books a week.

Do you think more about the past, present or future? 

I think about a good mix of all three.

What is a favorite children's book?  

I’ll love you forever; I’ll like you for always.

Have you kissed any of your Facebook friends? 

Sure, bunches of them.

How tall are you? 

5’3”

Where is your ideal house located? 

In the mountains with a great view.

Boxers, briefs, thongs, panties, or grannies? 

Sue me, I like granny panties already! They’re comfortable and they don’t ride up.

Last person you talked to? 

Nick

What are your keys on your key chain for? 

No keys. I have a fob for my car, but no key, pushbutton. And Mollie gave us an automatic door lock that unlocks when I drive up with my phone.

Where was the furthest place you traveled today? 

From my bedroom to my writing room. We still have a lot of snow around (at least for us) so I haven't been out.

Where is your current pain? 

I’m good right now, thanks.

Do you like mustard? 

NO!

Do you prefer to sleep or eat? 

I depends on whether I am hungry or sleepy.

Do you look like your mom or dad? 

My dad.

How long does it take you in the shower? 

It depends whether or not I’m in a rush. I love a nice long shower.

Can you do a split? 

Not in this lifetime.

What movie do you want to see right now? 

There isn’t one! I love movies but none have caught my interest lately. I’m guessing some of the superhero movies are probably good, but they don’t appeal to me. May be King Richard, about Serena and Venus William's father.

 What did you do for New Year's?

Ate snacks and tried to stay awake for the ball to drop.

Do you think “Scream” was scary? 

Absolute!  Of course, I didn’t see it but I definitely think it was.  If not lots of people wasted their money.

What was the cause of your last accident? 

I can't remember for sure but I imagine it was coughing, sneezing or laughing - or trying to do all three at once! Okay the younger crowd won't get this, but sadly most of you will!

Where are they now?

I’ve been blogging for a long time and I know that one of the most unsettling things is having people, that you feel you’ve come to know, just disappear on you. This has happened to me hundreds of times. And it still happens occasionally. I don’t panic like I did when I first started blogging, but I still can’t help wondering – Did they just lose interest? Did life get too busy? Did something happen to make them fear they were going to be outed? Did something bad happen? Did they die? There should be a rule that you have to at least say goodbye if you’re leaving. 

 

Lots of my friend are still here either blogging or at least popping up in comment so we know that they are alive and kicking, Terpsichore, Ronnie, Windy, Baker, Boo, Roz, Hermione and Bonnie and probably  others that my Covid brain is forgetting at the moment. But a lot of my good friends just stopped. Thankfully I’m still in touch with many of them, at least on FB, so I thought I’d update you.

 

If we go way back, fifteen years my closest friend were Eva, CeeCi and Grace. Eva and CeeCi are doing great. Eva is still teaching and seems to be enjoying it. My ‘twin’ has many grandchildren and I do envy her. CeeCi has a lovely career and does it beautifully. I still get to talk with them occasionally. 

 

The last time Grace posted was June of 2020. At time she told us that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer. It was bad and she went through hell. But she survived! She is healthy and cancer free and she and Bossman even drove cross country last year and came to visit us. They are now doing great and even contemplating some fun changes for the future.

 

 As for my more recent friends who no longer blog, I keep up with a few on FB – Lindy, from Down Under dreaming. Faerie, from Faerie Learns to Fly are two that I know are still around.

 

Here are some I occasionally speak with by phone, text, zoom or email – Terps – A Place to Share. Wendy – When the Storm Whispers to the Wind. Ella, Ella ever after. Meredith, New Twist after all these years. Minelle – My Breath. Katie T, This whole thing (Katie’s last post told us that she had become a mother-in-law and she said I could tell you that she now has a beautiful baby granddaughter! I get to zoom with Rosie Jones and occasionally with Sarah Coltman. And I got a Christmas card from an English Rose. 

 

All of these ladies are doing well. There have been deaths in some of their families that hurt deeply, but gratefully no one has lost a spouse. Some have taken lovely trips, some have moved to new homes. I mentioned that there have been new grandbabies. There have been surgeries, and all have been successful. Everyone is going about their life, but most of these folks aren’t blogging. Or at least not as much as I’d like them too.

 

As I began writing this post, I went back in my mind over bloggers from the past that I have completely lost contact with. I would love to know how they are now. I’m putting up an incomplete list of those people here and should they by chance be reading or if anyone knows anything about them, I sure would love to hear. elisspeaks@yahoo.com

 

Mistress Sky

Todd and Suzy

Reesa Roberts – I think Reesa has passed away. But I never heard this for sure.

Spanky and Kallisto

Rogue

Theresa – She was from my early days, but I felt we were close. She had a son near LJ’s age. She disappeared suddenly and I’ve always wondered.

Florida Dom

Blondie

Maggie Dear – I’ve always wondered if she ever brought TTWD up to her husband.

Purple Angel

Cindy’s Dave

Claire – Claire was recent, but I enjoyed her blog and her comments. I think life kinda overwhelmed her and she has no time. But I wish she would let us know how she is.

 

There are so, so many other I could include but I’ll stop here for the moment.

 

If anyone would like to come back for a word, I’d be happy to have you as a guest on my site if you don’t want to reactivate your own blog. Mostly we just want to know how our friends are.

Do you remember Bas?

 

I’m writing a post about what’s become of some old blogging friends who are no longer actively blogging. While I was writing it Bas came to mind. For those of you who never got the chance to get to know him, Bas was a very dear man from Holland who meant a great deal to those of us who had the privilege of reading his blog. As I was looking back to see when he passed away, I came across this post I put up the day after he died back in 2013. I think it’s an important post for all bloggers and their readers to hear again. So I’m reposting it here. I’ll have the ‘Where are they’ post up soon. I heard from Bas' wife, Lisa, on my birthday. She is doing well and now has two grandsons.

 

 

My Friend, Bas

 

Lots of people I’ve met through blogging made an impression on my life.  I think Bas made the biggest.  The second email I received from him affected me more deeply than anything email I’ve ever received.  It made me realize that what we do here can be so much bigger than we ever dreamed.

 

This is how I remember that time. Last summer I put up a post accidently revealing something that made it possible for people to learn who I really was.  While that doesn’t scare me like it used to, I still want to remain anonymous for the most part. When I woke up the morning after posting it, I had the following email:

 

I sure hope you will not be angry with me for finding you. 

I am a many-years lurker on your website New Beginnings.

Since I am from Holland I never really felt that I could comment on your writings. But Elisnewbeginnings has been sort of my home page since for years.

I write you, to strongly advise you to delete your last post about … 

 

You did actually give yourself away.

 

Please remove this post before America wakes up!

 

Love,

Bas

I did as he suggested and wrote him back the following:

 

Bas,

Angry?  Not at all!  Thank you so much for caring enough to warn me.  I have removed the post.  To be honest I woke several times in the night wondering if it had been a good idea.

 

I have several online friends from Holland.  I'd love to hear from you anytime you like.  And thank you for reading me for so long.

 

Hugs,

PK

 

I then got the second email that completely blew me away.

 

 

Dear PK,

 

Please don’t thank me. It’s really me that has to thank you. More than I can possibly tell you. I was actually being very selfish in sending you my email this morning.

 

I was like: “Oh no, if even I can find her then anybody can. She’s a teacher, cannot afford to be outed. She will close down her blog! I was terrified by the idea, your blog is literally a lifesaver for me.”

 

Please don’t worry about being outed to me. I am one of your most faithful (and quiet) fans. A little background to clarify, in 2008 I was diagnosed with cancer. This keeps coming back after each treatment and many times I have heard the prediction that I have only a few months to live. In 2008 my marriage resembled your pre-ttwd marriage. No communication whatsoever.

 

I would not let my last month’s/years slip away like that. Your blog encouraged me to bring ttwd to my wife (of 34 years) and although I still do not believe it, she accepted it and is happy with it. I am convinced that the happiness my wife and I experience right now, keeps me alive and kicking (well ok, spanking), I have not yet explained to the doctors why their predictions are wrong.

 

So there you have your responsibility. I would be devastated if you ever stopped blogging.

 

Love,

Bas

 

I was stunned. I’ve loved blogging since I wrote my first post.  But I always assumed it was just a little passing fun. I’m sure many, including me, sometimes view blogging as little more than an entertaining waste of time.  But look at the results. Bas said the ideas he got from all of us helped him.  I know for a fact that once he made himself known to us, once he began commenting and then once he began blogging and receiving comments, emails, love and friendship he was so very, very happy.  We all helped make both Bas and Lisa happy, can anyone call that a waste of time?

 

This is why I feel so strongly about blogs being opened to the public whenever possible (and I know that it isn’t always possible), but we don’t know who we may be reaching. Bas stayed silent for over four years. I think he would have remained silent and unknown to us forever, until he thought I was in trouble. He knew I needed his help, and that made him speak up.

 

I’ll never forget Bas. I think he would encourage us to keep blogging – keep sending our thoughts, dreams, rants, jokes, troubles, joys, and stories out into the world.  We don’t know who is reading or if something we might say is exactly what they need to hear.

 

I know many of us feel sad now and that is understandable but remember who Bas really was. He once told me that if Lisa didn’t follow his instructions about his funeral he get up, take his coffin and walk out. He did not want gloom and sadness and he certainly would not want it here. It made me think of part of an old poem that sounds like something Bas would say -

 

Remember me with laughter and smiles

 

as I will remember you all.

 

If you can only remember me with tears

 

then don’t remember me at all.

Snow in the south!

Look what happened in the south yesterday. It’s been nearly four years since we’ve had more than a good dusting of snow. Yesterday was beautiful – my apologies to those of you who have completely different feelings about snow. Here we ended up with about seven inches.

Normally this would be no problem. I don’t have to go out and Nick can easily tell his boss that he’s not coming in. But the ladies who care for his dad can’t make it to his house. And for various reasons neither can any of the kids except for Nick. We don’t have a 4-wheel-drive and our county doesn’t get the roads scraped as quickly as some. I just hope and pray he makes it there and back. Once he gets back home the snow will be beautiful again.

I thought I'd killed it

I’ve enjoyed reading Fondles post about her plants and the many she's rescued. I’m not a big plant person but I am fond of Jade plants. My aunt had a beautiful one that I always admired. I wish I’d told her how much I admired it because she gave it away when she found out she was dying. As we were cleaning out her house, I found another Jade back in one of the bedrooms. I have no doubt it was one she had started from her big one. I brought it home with me.

That happened thirty-three years ago. I still have the plant and I’ve started countless babies from it and shared them with all my family when they come to the reunions. 

But…late last year, fall or early winter I wasn’t paying close attention to the weather reports and I left my beloved plant out to freeze. It was pretty bad.

 

There was serious damage to the big plant and my favorite ‘baby’ looked horrible. I gave them a day or two and then I cut away the damaged parts. As you can see it looked like hell.

Before

After

I had little hope for the baby but the big plant, while damaged, still had plenty of life.

 

But just look...

Both plants have tons of new growth. I believe we’re going to make it. I’ll definitely be babying them from now on.

And just like that...

Christmas time has come and gone. It was great. I love having all my children home, but it does fill up a small house. Three extra adults plus two big hairy dogs – it makes a difference! We enjoyed just sitting around talking when we got the chance, we ate too much, we opened presents, played some games and we even got to go on an adventure.

 

Mollie, LJ and Collin took us to an Escape Room! I’d heard them talk about these rooms before, but I didn’t think it would be for me even though I was curious. It was such fun! Mollie has done many of these, so she was our ‘expert’ in getting us started and what kind of things to look for. As I understand there are all kinds of ‘rooms’ but this one was based on the game Clue. We were looking for who did it, with what weapon in which room. We were putting together puzzles, finding the codes for certain locks, hooking up hoses to fill a basin to get a key, a secret wall slid open… it was exciting and something completely different from anything I’d done before. You have one hour to make it out and we did it in 38 minutes and 16 seconds – the second fastest time. Mollie and friends did one where they made it out with nine seconds to spare. This is something everyone should try - but take a young person with you. You'll need the help.

I'm happy to say that the boys survived their trip to a small southern town and are now safely back in the big city, Molly is back to teaching, Nick is back at work and I’m sitting by the fire with my computer. Oh, I still have plenty to do – getting all the decorations put away and in general cleaning everything up. But I don’t mind, I can take my time. I think like most empty nesters, I’m thrilled when the kids get here and not all that disappointed when we get the house back for just the two of us. 

 

Once the house is put to right, I have many writing sessions to come with Cassie. She has been talking and talking lately. And you know Cassie does not like to be ignored. Sometimes I have to sit down and write before she’ll tell me what happens next! Stay tuned.

Today's the day

I’m so excited! It’s finally time for the boys to come. We’ll be heading out about ten this morning to the airport to pick them up. Strangely, it take almost the same amount of time for us to drive to the airport as it take for the boys to fly here from NYC.

 

The tradition for the ride home is stopping by Bojangles, a restaurant too sophisticated  for NYC. It serves the best biscuits you can find anywhere as well as some fine spicy chicken. Since they can’t get these fine things in the big city they always want to stop at the first one we pass. Collin’s a vegetarian, but he loves their egg and cheese biscuits.

I don’t know all the plans after we get home. But we’re having dinner and opening gifts Friday evening and they’ll celebrate Christmas with Collin’s family on Saturday. And then on Sunday they’ll fly home. It’s not a long visit, but I’ll take anything I can get! 

 

I’ll be back next week.

2022

If there is anything I’m sure of is that no one know what 2022 will bring. Since 2020 we seem to tiptoe into each new year hoping for wonderful things, but we’re not sure we’ll get what we’re hoping for. I enjoy having friends out here that I can talk with – no masks, no fears. I appreciate each person who comes by, whether you leave a comment or not. 

 

I hope you’ll continue to come by in 2022. I have no idea what I’ll be blogging about. But it will probably be a little bit of everything – what Nick and I are up to, what the kids are doing, how my writing is going and anything else that catches my attention. There may even be some spanking to discuss.

 

I hope the new year brings you what you hope for!