Better weather coming... I hope

I really enjoyed getting out and walking some today. It was 73 degrees and sunny. I had on long pants but shorts would have felt great. I know it’s not spring yet, but it still felt good. I hope warm weather is coming soon because Mollie has no heat. Her furnace stopped the other day. Grateful she does have a kerosene heater. She said the other day she felt like Little House on the Prairie getting up each morning and lighting the fire in this heater.

She called someone to come look at it, but of course she really couldn’t be there. I told her I’d be happy to come and be there to talk with them. The young man seemed very nice, but she needs a part. It all should be under warranty, but somehow that’s screwed by the people who sold her the house and anyway she'll have to pay for it. It’s going to be over $1,700 and that’s not fun for a single schoolteacher. She knows we’d help, but she says that’s not the way things are supposed to work. She has the money in savings, thank goodness, but I know that’s not how she hoped to spend it. In addition to this expense, they also told her that the part would usually come in within two weeks in the past, but now it could be anywhere from four and six months. I guess this is the world we’re living in at the moment.

 

While I was at her house, I got to spend some time with my granddogs. The oldest one is about four, and is such a sweet, delightful dog. And then there is the puppy. She is about a year old and, well let’s just say this picture is very accurate and we still have a long way to go…

Aarrrrgggg...

*Morningstar emailed with the suggestion to clear my history and reboot the computer. I think I’ve done that. I’ve cleared the history and the cache (at least I think I have) and I’ve turned the computer off and back on. But Blogger still won’t let me comment anywhere. I’m very frustrated. If anyone has a suggestion, please help!

 

Just a quick note. I can't answer my comments nor can I comment on anyone blog. If I try to comment somewhere else, it just disappears with no explanation. And when I try to answer my own comments here on the blog it give me a 'whoops, that's an error' page and tells me to try refreshing. 

I'll try doing what I usually do - cuss a little then wait for it to correct itself. But if you have any suggestion, please email - elisspeaks@yahoo.com

TBT - My best spanking rant

This was first posted sixteen years ago. I think it's one of the best posts I've ever written. It's no longer completely true for me - I really don't care who know my 'secret.' Being retired and older give me a 'screw you if you don't like it' feeling. But I'm aware it's still true for so many of us.

An email from a friend got me all stirred up about this topic so pardon me while I rant but I am just so mad. I want to know where the rest of the world gets off thinking that what we enjoy and the lifestyle we chose makes us some type of sicko that should not be accepted in polite society.

Many people enjoy massages; often they pay big bucks to have a stranger give them a massage. They talk about how good it felt and how relax they felt afterwards. If their friends, family and colleagues have any thoughts on the matter most would think, “Yeah, a massage would be great.” 

I hate massages! Often people I barely know come up behind me and start rubbing my shoulders. It hurts likes hell! I want to scream at them. If I say anything about not wanting them digging their digits into the muscles near my neck I get a strange look and something like, “You don’t like that? There must be something wrong with you. You are way too tense.”

I see people at the gym lifting weights so heavy they look as though they are going to tear a muscle. Runners and cyclist are taught to run or ride through the pain for the benefits on the other side. Huge men are paid bazillion dollars to slam into one another to get a ball moved down a field. All of these people are engaging in activities, by their own choice, that both hurt like hell and are activities that some others would never ever want to do. Yet they are considered normal. People will let them talk about what they enjoy doing and it’s even acceptable to encourage other to at least give it a try.

I enjoy being spanked. I love the sting, I love the afterglow, I love the achy soreness the next day, I love the feeling of release, I love the emotional closeness I feel with my husband, I love everything about it. Spanking is good for my physical, mental and emotional well being. I am not even encouraging others to try it. I am just saying it is a wonderful thing in my life.

So how come I would be the one to possible lose my job if my superiors were to discover that I blog about it. At best I could expect to be ridiculed, thought of as unnatural or perhaps perverted. It’s not fair. I am just as normal as those who like massages, lift weight, run or play football. But no, our desire is strictly taboo. I want to stand up and yell “I’m mad and I’m not going to take it anymore” instead I have to sit here and type “I’m mad and there is not a damn, friggin thing I can do about it!”

And if you don’t mind if I rant on, another topic we are discussing on our blog is about our sex life. This would also make our friends and family gasp in horror and heap embarrassment on us. Why? If I was reading blogs to improve my cardiovascular system that would be fine, if my boss or family found out they would be proud of me. I could ask all the question I wanted to and gathering all the information I could. But if I want to learn about my sexuality, if I want to learn more about this part of my body and how it works and ways to improve or enhanced the quality of an orgasm – oh my, heaven forbid! And speaking of heaven, God created our bodies and included in the female special added features strictly for pleasure having nothing to do with reproduction. So evidently He intended for us to enjoy this part of our lives. There is nothing wrong with researching how our bodies are supposed to work.

We are talking about sex and spankings on our blogs. I am not standing on the street corner yelling these things at folks that do not want to hear it. If you do not want to hear my opinions on these topics you wouldn’t have read this far. I know that none of us are embarrassed in the least by what we read or write yet we are all afraid of others finding out, because others won’t understand. I want my blog to remain a secret. Not only would I have to live with the embarrassment if it were discovered but my family would also. But if anyone I know does find my blog and tries to make me feel guilty or threats to tell others I am going to print off this post, shove it in their face and tell them to kiss my ass!

My friends, I thank you for allowing me a place for my rant. I knew I would be safe here.

Beware of eye surgery

Nick is having cataract surgery this week. I assumed this was a good idea until I sat and thought about it for a minute, and now I think it’s going to mess things up. The way I thought of it was that as I continued to age… the wrinkles, the sagging bod and all that goes with it was supposed to coincide with a gradual loss of perfect vision for Nick.

 

But now? He’s going to see perfectly while I continue to wrinkle and sag. Where is the fairness in this? Don’t tell me Nick is aging at the same rate I am. Nick never ages. The few wrinkles he has just makes his face more interesting. 

 

What if this is his before and after view…

Okay, these pictures may be a little extreme on both ends but... could someone please tell me where to send my complaints?

Where should Bullet live?

Let me tell you a little of Bullet’s situation. He wandered into our family about eight to ten years ago. He was a nice little stray and FIL let him stay. The little valley where my in-laws lived it a pretty place. There are other houses within sight of their house, but too far away to shout a greeting. Their church is across one field beside their house, the cemetery across the field in the back.

Not our mountains, but this gives you the feel.

Bullet is an outside dog – won’t come in even if we try to entice him. If you sit on the porch he’ll come sit on your lap and let you pet him. But he only stays there for a bit and then he’s off again. He has a nice doghouse on the back porch, deep with straw very warm. They house is on a dirt road with little traffic and across this dirt road is a bubbling creek. 

 

Bullet owns this valley. We think he eats at several of the houses, because, while he loves a treat, he pays little attention to his food when we feed him. He heads to the church every Sunday morning where most of those in the congregation bring him a treat. He's always so happy to see the family come on Sunday, running to greet us each separately. But just greeting us then running off again. He’s just a happy little dog.

 

But what now?

 

I’m not happy about the few homes that have been mentioned. One of Nick’s sisters would like to have him. But she’s an accountant and during tax season she’s gone from 7:00AM until 9:PM and while she has a fenced yard, it’s about the size of a postage stamp. I don’t want him there. One of the ladies who helped FIL would give Bullet a home, but she lives on a busy road. That doesn’t seem safe. Bullet has never been tied or fenced in any way. None of the five kids really has a good place for him.

My choice is, leave him right there in his valley. Let him stay there and play in the creek and chase rabbits and visit the church and the cemetery and make the rounds of all the places that feed him. I know for a fact there will be someone from the family up there at least twice every week. SIL play the piano for the church on Sunday and has choir practice on Wednesdays. I know she would be more than willing to feed him on those days. I’d be happy to go up and feed him once or twice a week. I don’t anticipate this home place being sold right away and I feel there will be people in and out frequently.

 

With the family still around to check on him several times a week and everyone in the valley knowing they could call any of us if they think he needs anything, am I crazy to vote to leave him right where he is? I really feel that Bullet would be happier there than anywhere else. 

Has LJ found a Unicorn?

I enjoyed this visit with LJ. We had a few days together and we got to just sit and talk for a lot of that time. One story he told me definitely got my attention. It’s not all settled but if it turns out as he things it will, he has truly found a unicorn.

They came home about two months ago to a notice on their apartment door saying the building was zoned as a factory and not for anything else. When he first said that my heart sank because I know how much they love this new place. They’ve been there less than a year. 

 

Thankfully NYC has extremely good tenant’s rights laws. The owner has to go to court and get the building put under the ‘Loft Law.’ I certainly don’t understand it all but basically no one in the building has to pay any rent until this is done. And once it’s done, the rent will go back to what it was five years ago and it will become a rent control building.

 

That’s the unicorn, the mystical, magical, almost unbelievable animal – a rent-controlled apartment in NYC with the rent rolled back to what it was in 2017. Plus not paying any rent until the owner brings the building under compliance. And who knows how slow the courts could be moving.

They weren’t required to pay rent for February, but the people in the eight units talked it over and they all paid February’s rent. They don’t dislike the owner, and everyone is putting their own rent away to show that they have it. But with the extraordinarily high rents there, if they can save even one month it would be wonderful. I'll let you know how it all turns out.

Peace

Sigh…We had the funeral Wednesday and I now feel very peaceful. FIL will be missed for a long time, but the worst is over. It was the sorrow and dread of knowing they were losing him over these past two weeks that was the worst. Now it’s happened and there is no more dread. At least that was the way I felt when I lost my parents.

 

Wednesday was a beautiful day. It was in the high forties, but it was sunny and no wind. The graveside service they decided on was perfect. FIL was an outdoorsman and the sitting there on the edge of the woods seemed way better than in a church. Nearly all the family was there and a few close friends too. But for me this was the best thing about the outdoor funeral.

FIL’s dog was able to attend. He greeted everyone with a tail wag and a smile. Twice during the service he jumped into Nick’s lap as he used to do with my FIL. For me the overall feeling of the was one of quiet celebration for this fine man. And little Bullet being there just made everyone feel better.

 

LJ was able to come home for the service. I was so happy to see him. He was a pallbearer along with his cousins and two of the great grandsons. Nick and I laughed as LJ pointed out that the pallbearers were evenly split – three gay, three straight. Not bad in that small conservative community. 

 

After the funeral the family all went back to FIL’s house, just down the hill from the cemetery. Their church and brought in a spread for the family and it was good being with everyone. LJ hadn’t seen some of his cousins in nearly ten years. And he’s not going back to NY until Saturday so I have some quiet days to visit with him.

 

I’m sure that there is a kind of sad happiness for my FIL’s kids. They know that they had a great dad and they had him way longer than most people get to have their dad. I hope that they feel good about the way they came to care for him as he got older. Everyone helped and they truly did a good job.

For us women

I saw this the other day and 

thought many of us could relate. 

Nick's dad passed away yesterday morning. Sadly, we all knew it was coming, but regardless of how old someone is it's hard to lose your dad. I know Nick and all the kids are sad, but there are there for each other. Those in the family that did contract Covid have had moderate symptoms and they are coming off quarantine today. I appreciate the prayers and support we've felt from blogland. Thank you all.

 

Update

Nick’s dad is still hanging in there, but he’s now under hospice care. Everyone knows he a tough old bird. He's in the covid ward at the hospital right now and his kids have still been going up and taking turn sitting with him. He doesn’t seem to know that they're there, but they know they're there.

Unfortunately, Covid doesn’t care about any of this. Nick’s older brother, who is currently undergoing radiation treatment for cancer has now tested positive for Covid and this morning one of his sisters did too. 

Nick was visiting there two days ago when he called me to tell me he'd had another kidney stone attack. When it rains… He’s fine now and thinks he might have passed a small stone. I’m wondering. No kidney stones throughout his life until four months ago, then he has a painful attack and after our eleven hours wait in the ER, they do a scan and saw nothing. They said it was most likely a stone based on his symptoms and a little blood in his urine. But NOTHING on the scan. Now another one formed within that four months? That just seems strange to me.

 

I haven’t been to see my FIL. I really don’t want to go to the hospital and visit in the covid ward. But the other daughters-in-law have gone. Nick doesn't want me to go and that decided it, but I don’t want the others to think I don’t care. I have offered to pick up groceries, medicine or fast food for those home with covid and deliver it to their doors. I feel I can pray for FIL as well right here in my house as I can at the hospital.

 

Not the most cheerful of updates. I’m grateful that at the moment both Nick and I are symptom free and praying we stay that way.

Not the best week

A lot of things happened last week – and not many of those things were good. Nick’s Dad has been having more problems. I know that at the age of one hundred we can’t expect great improvements, but he is having real trouble standing. 

He hasn’t walked much lately but he could stand for short periods, to shave, to get dressed and to transfer from one chair to another. But he can’t now. A couple of times he’s tried to get out of bed only to find himself in the floor and completely unable to rise. That meant he could be there a while. The ladies who help out couldn’t get him up so they would call one of the kids. A problem with living to be a hundred is that your kids aren’t spring chickens either. Two are in their 70’s and the others in their 60’s. 

 

They finally took him to the hospital and after he came home for a short time – they realized that he really couldn’t stay there. The oldest daughter took him to her house as she looked for a rehab bed in a facility hopefully close by. While he was there, daughter’s husband hurt his back trying to help. They finally got him a bed in the same facility where my MIL lived the last few months of her life. It seems to be a good place, but just a few minutes ago Nick tells me they’ve taken him back to the hospital because of ‘rattling’ and rough breathing after he threw up. They are afraid of aspiration. As we all know, old age is not for the faint hearted.

 

Then three days ago I got a text from the daughter of my best friend, my teaching partner for ten years before she abandoned me for retirement. While on a short trip she fell – and broke a vertebra her neck in three places. The first hospital wouldn’t take her, they said she needed a trauma center. She had to travel two and a half hours away to Tennessee. 

They decided she didn’t need surgery, but she will be in a neck brace for twelve weeks – can’t take it off for a minute. Her daughter went to be with her and she and her dad got a hotel close by. He coughed all night and yep, the next morning he tested positive for Covid. He’s fully vaccinated, but he’s really not feeling well. Their son is with him, while the daughter stays with her mom. Everyone is scared my friend will come down with Covid also. Coughing? In a neck brace? With a broken neck? Well, you see the problem. In the midst of all this the daughter gets a text from her husband telling her that their daughter, age ten, just started her period for the first time. Don’t you know she wants her mom or grandma with her. Talk about a hectic time. The daughter is a teacher so throw that into the mix too.

 

Thanks for listening to my woes, but I will end on a high note. Yesterday the warrior princess, after dealing with seven and a half year with seizures, has now gone four and a half months without one – the longest seizure free period since they began. That seems like a miracle – now if we can just get a couple more.

 

 

A meme from the past

This is a meme from long ago. When I ran across it I thought it would be fun to answer them again. I hope some of my fellow bloggers with try it too.

The phone rings. Who do you want it to be? 

One of my kids.

When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart? 

Always

In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener? 

I think I am pretty good at both.

Do you take compliments well? 

Yes, I say thank you and move on. However, I rarely believe them.

Are you an active person? 

Nope, not at all, but I wish I was.

If abandoned alone in the wilderness, do you survive? 

Probably not for very long.

Do you like to ride horses? 

I did as a kid, but I haven’t in years.

Did you ever go to camp as a kid? 

No way. I didn’t like the idea of being away from my parents.

What was your favorite game as a kid?  

Anything make-believe.  It’s still my favorite game.

A sexy person is pursuing you, but you know that he/she is married, would you? 

Nope

Are you judgmental? 

Not about most things.

Do you like to pursue or be pursued? 

It’s been so long I can’t remember.

Use three words to describe yourself. 

Relaxed, content, optimistic

If you had to choose, would you rather be deaf or blind? 

Pretty nasty things to choose between.  I think most people would say deaf knowing how horrible it would be to lose your sight.  But my grandmother and later, my mother, were so hard of hearing that they were very isolated.  Not many took the time to communicate with them. Losing your hearing can really plunge you into loneliness. Being able to communicate by computer would have helped this.

Are you continuing your education? 

In the real world yes. Academically, no.

 

Do you know how to shoot a gun? 

No 

How often do you read books? 

I don’t read too much, these days I listen and I listen to several books a week.

Do you think more about the past, present or future? 

I think about a good mix of all three.

What is a favorite children's book?  

I’ll love you forever; I’ll like you for always.

Have you kissed any of your Facebook friends? 

Sure, bunches of them.

How tall are you? 

5’3”

Where is your ideal house located? 

In the mountains with a great view.

Boxers, briefs, thongs, panties, or grannies? 

Sue me, I like granny panties already! They’re comfortable and they don’t ride up.

Last person you talked to? 

Nick

What are your keys on your key chain for? 

No keys. I have a fob for my car, but no key, pushbutton. And Mollie gave us an automatic door lock that unlocks when I drive up with my phone.

Where was the furthest place you traveled today? 

From my bedroom to my writing room. We still have a lot of snow around (at least for us) so I haven't been out.

Where is your current pain? 

I’m good right now, thanks.

Do you like mustard? 

NO!

Do you prefer to sleep or eat? 

I depends on whether I am hungry or sleepy.

Do you look like your mom or dad? 

My dad.

How long does it take you in the shower? 

It depends whether or not I’m in a rush. I love a nice long shower.

Can you do a split? 

Not in this lifetime.

What movie do you want to see right now? 

There isn’t one! I love movies but none have caught my interest lately. I’m guessing some of the superhero movies are probably good, but they don’t appeal to me. May be King Richard, about Serena and Venus William's father.

 What did you do for New Year's?

Ate snacks and tried to stay awake for the ball to drop.

Do you think “Scream” was scary? 

Absolute!  Of course, I didn’t see it but I definitely think it was.  If not lots of people wasted their money.

What was the cause of your last accident? 

I can't remember for sure but I imagine it was coughing, sneezing or laughing - or trying to do all three at once! Okay the younger crowd won't get this, but sadly most of you will!

Where are they now?

I’ve been blogging for a long time and I know that one of the most unsettling things is having people, that you feel you’ve come to know, just disappear on you. This has happened to me hundreds of times. And it still happens occasionally. I don’t panic like I did when I first started blogging, but I still can’t help wondering – Did they just lose interest? Did life get too busy? Did something happen to make them fear they were going to be outed? Did something bad happen? Did they die? There should be a rule that you have to at least say goodbye if you’re leaving. 

 

Lots of my friend are still here either blogging or at least popping up in comment so we know that they are alive and kicking, Terpsichore, Ronnie, Windy, Baker, Boo, Roz, Hermione and Bonnie and probably  others that my Covid brain is forgetting at the moment. But a lot of my good friends just stopped. Thankfully I’m still in touch with many of them, at least on FB, so I thought I’d update you.

 

If we go way back, fifteen years my closest friend were Eva, CeeCi and Grace. Eva and CeeCi are doing great. Eva is still teaching and seems to be enjoying it. My ‘twin’ has many grandchildren and I do envy her. CeeCi has a lovely career and does it beautifully. I still get to talk with them occasionally. 

 

The last time Grace posted was June of 2020. At time she told us that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer. It was bad and she went through hell. But she survived! She is healthy and cancer free and she and Bossman even drove cross country last year and came to visit us. They are now doing great and even contemplating some fun changes for the future.

 

 As for my more recent friends who no longer blog, I keep up with a few on FB – Lindy, from Down Under dreaming. Faerie, from Faerie Learns to Fly are two that I know are still around.

 

Here are some I occasionally speak with by phone, text, zoom or email – Terps – A Place to Share. Wendy – When the Storm Whispers to the Wind. Ella, Ella ever after. Meredith, New Twist after all these years. Minelle – My Breath. Katie T, This whole thing (Katie’s last post told us that she had become a mother-in-law and she said I could tell you that she now has a beautiful baby granddaughter! I get to zoom with Rosie Jones and occasionally with Sarah Coltman. And I got a Christmas card from an English Rose. 

 

All of these ladies are doing well. There have been deaths in some of their families that hurt deeply, but gratefully no one has lost a spouse. Some have taken lovely trips, some have moved to new homes. I mentioned that there have been new grandbabies. There have been surgeries, and all have been successful. Everyone is going about their life, but most of these folks aren’t blogging. Or at least not as much as I’d like them too.

 

As I began writing this post, I went back in my mind over bloggers from the past that I have completely lost contact with. I would love to know how they are now. I’m putting up an incomplete list of those people here and should they by chance be reading or if anyone knows anything about them, I sure would love to hear. elisspeaks@yahoo.com

 

Mistress Sky

Todd and Suzy

Reesa Roberts – I think Reesa has passed away. But I never heard this for sure.

Spanky and Kallisto

Rogue

Theresa – She was from my early days, but I felt we were close. She had a son near LJ’s age. She disappeared suddenly and I’ve always wondered.

Florida Dom

Blondie

Maggie Dear – I’ve always wondered if she ever brought TTWD up to her husband.

Purple Angel

Cindy’s Dave

Claire – Claire was recent, but I enjoyed her blog and her comments. I think life kinda overwhelmed her and she has no time. But I wish she would let us know how she is.

 

There are so, so many other I could include but I’ll stop here for the moment.

 

If anyone would like to come back for a word, I’d be happy to have you as a guest on my site if you don’t want to reactivate your own blog. Mostly we just want to know how our friends are.

Do you remember Bas?

 

I’m writing a post about what’s become of some old blogging friends who are no longer actively blogging. While I was writing it Bas came to mind. For those of you who never got the chance to get to know him, Bas was a very dear man from Holland who meant a great deal to those of us who had the privilege of reading his blog. As I was looking back to see when he passed away, I came across this post I put up the day after he died back in 2013. I think it’s an important post for all bloggers and their readers to hear again. So I’m reposting it here. I’ll have the ‘Where are they’ post up soon. I heard from Bas' wife, Lisa, on my birthday. She is doing well and now has two grandsons.

 

 

My Friend, Bas

 

Lots of people I’ve met through blogging made an impression on my life.  I think Bas made the biggest.  The second email I received from him affected me more deeply than anything email I’ve ever received.  It made me realize that what we do here can be so much bigger than we ever dreamed.

 

This is how I remember that time. Last summer I put up a post accidently revealing something that made it possible for people to learn who I really was.  While that doesn’t scare me like it used to, I still want to remain anonymous for the most part. When I woke up the morning after posting it, I had the following email:

 

I sure hope you will not be angry with me for finding you. 

I am a many-years lurker on your website New Beginnings.

Since I am from Holland I never really felt that I could comment on your writings. But Elisnewbeginnings has been sort of my home page since for years.

I write you, to strongly advise you to delete your last post about … 

 

You did actually give yourself away.

 

Please remove this post before America wakes up!

 

Love,

Bas

I did as he suggested and wrote him back the following:

 

Bas,

Angry?  Not at all!  Thank you so much for caring enough to warn me.  I have removed the post.  To be honest I woke several times in the night wondering if it had been a good idea.

 

I have several online friends from Holland.  I'd love to hear from you anytime you like.  And thank you for reading me for so long.

 

Hugs,

PK

 

I then got the second email that completely blew me away.

 

 

Dear PK,

 

Please don’t thank me. It’s really me that has to thank you. More than I can possibly tell you. I was actually being very selfish in sending you my email this morning.

 

I was like: “Oh no, if even I can find her then anybody can. She’s a teacher, cannot afford to be outed. She will close down her blog! I was terrified by the idea, your blog is literally a lifesaver for me.”

 

Please don’t worry about being outed to me. I am one of your most faithful (and quiet) fans. A little background to clarify, in 2008 I was diagnosed with cancer. This keeps coming back after each treatment and many times I have heard the prediction that I have only a few months to live. In 2008 my marriage resembled your pre-ttwd marriage. No communication whatsoever.

 

I would not let my last month’s/years slip away like that. Your blog encouraged me to bring ttwd to my wife (of 34 years) and although I still do not believe it, she accepted it and is happy with it. I am convinced that the happiness my wife and I experience right now, keeps me alive and kicking (well ok, spanking), I have not yet explained to the doctors why their predictions are wrong.

 

So there you have your responsibility. I would be devastated if you ever stopped blogging.

 

Love,

Bas

 

I was stunned. I’ve loved blogging since I wrote my first post.  But I always assumed it was just a little passing fun. I’m sure many, including me, sometimes view blogging as little more than an entertaining waste of time.  But look at the results. Bas said the ideas he got from all of us helped him.  I know for a fact that once he made himself known to us, once he began commenting and then once he began blogging and receiving comments, emails, love and friendship he was so very, very happy.  We all helped make both Bas and Lisa happy, can anyone call that a waste of time?

 

This is why I feel so strongly about blogs being opened to the public whenever possible (and I know that it isn’t always possible), but we don’t know who we may be reaching. Bas stayed silent for over four years. I think he would have remained silent and unknown to us forever, until he thought I was in trouble. He knew I needed his help, and that made him speak up.

 

I’ll never forget Bas. I think he would encourage us to keep blogging – keep sending our thoughts, dreams, rants, jokes, troubles, joys, and stories out into the world.  We don’t know who is reading or if something we might say is exactly what they need to hear.

 

I know many of us feel sad now and that is understandable but remember who Bas really was. He once told me that if Lisa didn’t follow his instructions about his funeral he get up, take his coffin and walk out. He did not want gloom and sadness and he certainly would not want it here. It made me think of part of an old poem that sounds like something Bas would say -

 

Remember me with laughter and smiles

 

as I will remember you all.

 

If you can only remember me with tears

 

then don’t remember me at all.