What a weekend!

This has been some weekend – a very full happy one! It really began last Thursday when Mollie ask me to accompany her on a very special pickup. We traveled about an hour from home and returned with this little girl to add to Mollie’s menagerie.

 

I love this picture of her with her big sister, Mollie’s older golden. They are already getting to be buddies.

That was tons of fun and Nick and I were wrapped up in the fun of having a new grand pup when late Friday night it occurred to me that the next day was our wedding anniversary! Thirty-eight years to be exact. I had no gift, no card, no nothing. When its gift buying time, we usually just laugh and buy practical things we need. I had teased him not long ago that he was getting new storm doors for Father’s day. I’m not really big on ‘special days.’

 

Nick usually has me a card and if it was in my chair when I came in the next morning I was going to feel bad. Next morning, no card. I went to Nick and gave him a kiss and said, “Happy Anniversary!” The poor man looked stricken. I laughed and admitted I’d forgotten too.

 

No hard feelings at all. We headed up the mountain late that afternoon – it was fifteen degrees cooler up there and had a nice dinner and a walk down the quaint little street and through the park. It was a very nice anniversary.

 

One of the reasons we forgot was because we had another celebration on our minds. Sunday we celebrated Nick’s dad’s birthday and not any birthday – this was his hundredth birthday! 

Lots of family, his nieces and nephews, their kids, his kids and grandkids and great grandkids too. Plus lots of people from his church. He had a great time and the rest of us did too. 

  

So that’s how I spent my weekend. I hope yours was as much fun!

Fantasy Friday - Free of Ink

I'm so happy to tell you that we have a brand new Fantasy Friday! Yes, finally someone was listening and willing to do some writing for us. This story was written by Patti and her is what she has to say about herself:

 I grew up on the east coast, and now I'm landlocked in Colorado. I began writing when I was about fifty-ish and saw a request to submit a short story on a blog. (I still can't believe I got up the nerve to submit a story.) With a lot of help, I had my story published in their book, Twelve Seconds An Anthology of Lesbian Spanking Romance. I've been learning and practicing ever since. I now have my own blog pattisstories.Wordpress.com where I enjoy posting a variety of spanking stories that I write.  I'm not in this relationship. I was sitting on the beach when a couple walked past, and I made it theirs. 

See spanking stories can come from anywhere! Please enjoy...

 Free of Ink

     Maren sat watching her girlfriend and was mesmerized by her beauty. Still wondering how she ever got past the girl's tough exterior, let alone began dating. With seventy percent of her body covered in ink, Stevie had no patience for people not in her immediate circle. The girl's arrogance had Maren's palm itching the moment they first, and that feeling hasn't stopped since.

    Maren smiled as her mind drifted to a conversation they had early in their relationship. They were in bed, and she was admiring the detail on some of the more intricate designs when the subject took a more serious tone. Maren said. "Sweetheart your tattoos are beautiful and I love that each one has it's own story, but I worry that one day you'll go to far."

     Stevie was surprised by this; she thought, what was too far? Then, looking curiously at her girlfriend, she asked. "I don't understand, what do you think is too far? I mean as you've noticed I'm pretty much covered." Her hand went dramatically over her arms, torso, and legs.

     Smiling a little, Maren said, "yes I know you're covered, you little minx, but I would like you to be able to cover them if needed." 

     Offended, Stevie jumped off the bed and began stomping around the room. “Unbelievable, I thought you liked my tattoos? So, you’ve been lying the whole time? I’m out of here.”

      “Stop this, right now!” Maren demanded.

      Grabbing her backpack, Stevie began filling it with odds and ends. No way was she staying; lying was non-negotiable in her book. Plus, after all the times Maren mentioned her liking the artwork, saying different, hurt. The only thing that made her pause was Maren's stern voice as she came up behind and spoke in her ear.

     "Little miss, you had better settle down and listen, before I put you over my lap and settle you down. It's your choice, but either way you will listen to me." Stevie's pause only lasted for a moment as this threat was made before and never followed through. She stepped up her effort to pack. Then suddenly, she found herself practically turned upside down as her body now upended and over Maren's knee like promised.

     "What are you doing? Stop! Put me down!" Maren ignored Stevie's demands. Then the unspeakable happened, Maren brought her hand down hard on Stevie's bottom not once but several times. "You can't hit me. Stop, stop Maren! You can't do that!"

     Now determined to make an impression, Maren landed a flurry of swats on the upturned butt before slowing to say. "Little miss, I will continue spanking until you truly start listening." Once again, a flurry landed; although Maren wasn't using her full force, Stevie was beside herself. 

      Soon Stevie was begging and promising to listen, “Please stop. I’ll listen.I swear, just stop.”

      Maren stopped swatting and began rubbing some of the stings away from the tender cheeks, looking down at the round orbs; she was happy her little miss choose not to mar her cute behind with ink. "Now let's get something straight, I love you, and both you and your tattoos are beautiful. With that said, in the future there are certain places I'd rather not see any ink. For example," she squeezed each cheek separately, which had Stevie moaning. "These beauties here. From now on I'm the only one to allowed to bring them color." Slapping each cheek, Maren asked. "Is that clear, Little miss?"

     Confused, nobody has ever dared spank her before. She still wanted to be outraged, but her outrage turned into feelings she didn't recognize in herself. Before she could fully come to terms with these strange feelings, another flurry of swats landed. "I believe I asked you a question Little miss."

     Almost desperate, Stevie managed to squeeze out a breathless reply, although through clenched teeth. "Yes, yes it's clear. Please stop I'm sorry. Let me up please!"

     Maren ended the swatting but kept Stevie in place. “Before I let you up I want to make sure you understand what I’m saying. I don't want any misunderstandings from now on. Are you ready to listen, Little miss.”

     Stevie decided maybe it was in her best interest to listen, at least in her butts best interest. "Yes, ma'am." As the words left her mouth, she wanted to pull them back, but if she was honest, they felt right.

     “Ok, now what I was trying to say is this. I love your tattoos and I know you have a real pride in having them. And yes I worry about you going too a far. What I mean by that is the neck, face, hands or feet. I think they should stay free of any ink. Well, let's add lower cheeks to the list," hands tapping the sore cheeks. "I think this area is for me and me alone."  Once Maren was done, Stevie took some time to process. 

     “Maren, Can I please get up?”

     Helping the girl up, Maren didn't allow her to get far; she pulled her down, placing sore cheeks directly on her lap. "Owe, Maren, I can't believe you spanked me." Stevie gave a pout that was so out of character for her usually tough as nail, tattooed girlfriend. "That hurt"

      "You might want to get used to it Little miss, because I see a lot of spankings in your future." Cutting off any further protests, Maren asked, "So are we clear as to where you can and can't put any new tattoos? Or do I need to put you back over my knee to make it more clear?"

      "No, I get it, I get what you're saying and I'm ok leaving them blank for now." Then, getting a raised eyebrow from her girlfriend, Stevie quickly added. "Ok, fine but what if I add a pink handprint on my right cheek."

     Flipping the squealing girl back over, Maren added, "I'll show you a pink handprint."  Then she proceeded to make pink handprints appear all over the girl's bottom.

     Maren giggled to herself, thinking about her girlfriend and the many spankings that have followed since that unforgettable first time.

~~

Thank Patti! I love that people are still participating in Fantasy Friday. I hope you'll write for me again. If anyone want to share a story with us please sent it to elisspeaks@yahoo.com

 

You have to love this!

 For all eternity

Worst punishment ever

One more post on the joys of child-rearing and then I’ll get off the topic. But I did say I was going to tell you about the punishment Mollie dreaded above all others. I’m not the only parent to use this supreme form of torture, but the vast majority don’t use it effectively.

 

It’s what I called an Amish Grounding. In other words – if the average Amish child doesn’t have it Mollie didn’t either. She could have nothing that plugged in or had a battery.  Of course this included TV, radio, computer, Kindle, tablet, iWatch, any type of electric game and above all, the phone. 

This pretty much confined her to her room, because I wasn’t being punished and I was planning to watch TV or listening to music, so she couldn’t be in the room with me. I hear people saying, ‘Big deal, everyone take away electronics.’ But do they? 

 

From the time I was a kid, all through my teaching career and even today I occasionally hear a parent say, “You’re grounded for a week! Sometime they’d say two weeks or even a month.” To which I always wanted to answer BULLSHIT!

 

I know very few parents these days who will go through the whining, complaining and begging to deal with a teenager with the total loss of electronic for a full week, much less longer.

The key that worked for me was the duration of the Amish grounding – usually a max of 48 hours. But I did reserve the possibility of adding another day if I had to listen to any whining or complaining about it. I could stick with it for two days. But even at that she was miserable. She was pretty much stuck with the option of reading and nothing else. Since she wasn’t a reader the few times I used it I think she slept for most of the 48 hours. You had to hit them hard, make it stick and then it was over. Way too many parents simple wimp out.

 

This can be used for any age child as long as you know their currency. Maybe for young kids it’s not being able to go outside for the rest of the day but almost any age kid these day plays with some type of  electronics. Make the time appropriate maybe twelve hours for younger kids, or for the rest of the day. But I swear it works. And the adding more time for whining is a big part. It’s just a matter of the parents thinking before they speak and then sticking to what they say. 

 

The second year I taught we took kids to visit a well know house in the area. The house did not allow gum inside. A guide stood at the door of our bus with a bag for kids to throw away any gum they had in their mouths. I had already stressed the rule. Walking though I saw one of our kids chewing and I was livid! I immediately made her get rid of it. Her mother was on the trip as a chaperone and said with distress,  ‘I just made her spit a piece out just a moment ago!’ This kid had given me trouble all year and I was furious.

 

I told the girl when we stopped for ice cream she would be sitting at a table alone and I would get her a cup of ice water and that was it! But remember, I was a second year teacher and the mother was along. Before we got to the ice cream stop I went to the mother and asked her if she thought I was being too harsh. I’ll always remember her answer, “Oh no, I think it’s fair.” Then she added, “If you can stick to it.”

 

BINGO! I told her that wouldn’t be a problem, but I’d realized what the family’s problem was. Wimp assed parents. I told her sticking to it would not be a problem for me, and it sure wasn’t.

 

My kids were easy to raise. We talked a lot and when I asked them to do something or not do it they listened about 98% of the time. I talk a lot with them about problem kids at school and ask their opinions of how I should have handled a certain problem. And bless their hearts, they still listen to me. That’s not to say they do as I suggest these days, but they pay me the honor of actually listening to what I think about a situation, before doing whatever they think is best. I can’t ask for more than that.

Fantasy Friday Revival - Breaking Obsessions

Friday again and I have another story for you to begin your weekend. Back when this one was first published it could have been written by any number of us. I hope you'll enjoy...

Breaking Obsessions 

I just love waking up in the morning and having coffee with all my online friends from around the world. I’ve been blogging for about a year and have met so many wonderful people. Unfortunately, I spend way too much time on the computer chatting and reading blogs and writing for my own blog. Mark warned me to get away from my computer and get some activities that will introduce me to people who could become real life friends instead of relying on those that I will never meet. He’s been so worried about me ever since one of the online friends I had become close with decided they did not want online friendships and just completely dropped out of site. These things happen, but I took it very hard. I had talked to her every day; sent pictures and thought some day we would actually meet. I felt so hurt from the sudden separation.

Mark spent a good month helping me heal. He lectured me about finding friends and people to hang with outside of the computer so I had other things to do and the dangers of getting too close to people online. Since I lost my job I’ve been kind of lost. My blogging time and connections with online people had become constant. They were all I talked about, all I wondered about and all I wanted to associate with. I should have been frightened off by my experience but for some reason, I just dove in deeper.

For the last 3 weeks, Mark has really been on my back about putting the computer down. “It’s so nice outside, Suzanne, let’s go bike riding,” he would say. He would suggest for me to do all kinds of outside activities and even give me outside chores in an effort to break my obsession. There have been times when I did not move fast enough for his taste when he told me to do something and I would be pulled over his knee for a hand spanking which served as a warning that I better move faster. Actually, this practice of his has become more frequent with a few full fledged bare bottom spankings taking place because I did not do as I was told.

Everything came to a head four days ago when Mark had finally had enough. He explained that he was glad I had made friends but that he was putting his foot down about computer time. I am no stranger to discipline by my husband. We had talked about adding discipline into our relationship during our 10th year of marriage. We have been married now for seventeen years. I wanted a strong man that would lead and was quite happy to change our family dynamic having him lead. Mark has always been very fair and the safety and security I feel outweighs any rules I may sometimes want to rebel against.

Mark took my chin with his hand and made sure I was looking directly at him when he told me that I was allowed only two hours a day for the next month on my computer. He was serious about me finding other interests. He told me he was very concerned about me getting hurt again and how that incident also affected him. He did not want a repeat. Several times I tried to look away from him but he would gently shake my chin and demand I look at him while he talked. When he was done with his lecture he asked me if I understood. I did my best to assure him that I would not get hurt again and stated my case about two hours being not nearly enough time each day. Mark only looked at me and asked again “Do you understand?” My only choice was to answer him “Yes, sir.”

I went to bed that night angry and completely out of sorts. What was I going to do with my day? I lay there thinking about what constructive things I could do with my time. It was then that I realized exactly how much my computer friends took up my day. I knew I was chatting often and reading blogs a lot, but if dinner was made and laundry got done, what difference did it make?

I awoke the next morning and immediately turned on the computer. My best blogging friend Donna had written me an email telling me to read her latest post. She and I had never met but talk about it often. We’ve talked on the phone on several different occasions and have so much in common. She is a DD wife as well so we can talk about spanking and restrictions openly. She lives about a five hour car ride from me and we so wish that we lived closer to each other. She stays at home during the day so we are able to chat a lot on instant messenger but she has to get off the computer when her husband comes home.

I read her post and by that time she had signed onto IM. I explained to her my new computer restriction. Donna was as sad as I was. She told me that it was like she was being restricted too. Mark had talked to Donna on the phone before and he saw the pictures she sent of herself and her family so they were not complete strangers. He likes Donna and reads her posts often but still had his reservations about anyone online. I spent the next ½ hour chatting with her and then decided to check out some other blogs. By the time I finished surfing and reading, I had already used an hour and half. This restriction was just not going to fly with me.

I spent the day trying to stay busy doing anything and everything I could think of to keep my mind off of the computer. I desperately wanted to talk to Donna. Her husband doesn’t like her to use the cell phone minutes without asking first because they get used up too fast. Several times she has run the minutes out, so we don’t chat by phone often and usually on weekends.

Later in the afternoon I got on the computer to chat with Donna one more time before her husband came home from work. I was so miserable thinking about how long the next month was going to be not talking to her like I usually do. That’s when it hit me. ROAD TRIP! What else did I have to do? I checked with Donna and she didn’t have anything going that would stop a visit from me. She just wanted me to make sure it was okay with Mark. Well, I’d at least leave him a note.

Mark would never agree to me meeting Donna without him but I was angry at him and reacting to that anger. I will just do this and show him that it is okay to meet cyber people. They are just like everyone else. It’s not my fault that he doesn’t have any vacation time right now to go with me. I’ll just stay the weekend and be back Monday before he gets home from work.

I did not allow any thoughts of punishment to enter my head, only the excitement of meeting my closest internet friend. Tomorrow was Friday and I would leave after Mark went to work. I’d packed a few things, make sure I had the directions and start my 5 hour drive. I figured I would call Mark when I arrived and tell him where I was. My call would most likely go to voicemail being that he told me he had meetings most of the day. That would work out perfect. I wouldn’t have to listen to scolding. I’m angry at him and I want to stay that way for the weekend. This is the first time I have felt his rule completely unfair. I’ve silently rebelled in the past, maybe even slammed a door or two but this is the first time I have ever done anything like this. If he wouldn’t let me use my computer to talk to my friend, I’ll just go to my friend so we can talk. Hey, I’m not on the computer, right? I won’t even take it with me.

My ride has been quite uneventful so far. The radio was turned up and I was singing along when my cell phone rang. I took it off the seat next to me and read the number. It was Mark. He only calls the cell when he doesn’t get an answer at home. It rang for the 3rd ring. I could not decide whether to pick it up or let it go. I was only on the road 2 hours so far so letting the call go to voicemail, he would require me to call him back. I had 3 hours before I reached Donna’s house where I was going to call him. By the time I decided to let it go to voicemail the phone had stopped ringing.

When I heard the familiar chime letting me know that I had a voicemail, I put the phone to my ear and listened to what he had to say. “Hey honey, where are you?” was what I heard him say. He continued, “Call me back when you get this. I don’t have another meeting for an hour.” Oh great. He’ll certainly call back in a ½ hour if he doesn’t hear from me. Then he’ll worry if I don’t answer again. I had to call him now. Oh well, I’ll just tell him now. I’m 2 hours away from home and to me that is enough time to tell him that I am almost there to avoid him telling me to turn around and come home.

All of a sudden I got very nervous. I’ve never disobeyed him in this way before. What was he going to think? I put myself in his place and thought how I would feel if he took off on me. Yeah, I was mad but what the heck did I do? I’ve been known to act like a brat but nothing to this extreme.

I had been thinking for so long that when the phone rang again, I didn’t realize 45 minutes had passed. I answered the phone, voice quivering a bit and Mark immediately said in a concerned but stern voice “Where are you.” “I’m driving,” I answered. “Driving where and didn’t you get my message to call me?” 

“Yes, I got your message,” I said. “I was going to call you right when the phone rang again.” 

“So what have you been doing, where are you driving?” I took a deep breath and then just spilled it all out. I explained that I was on my way to Donna’s and that I had been driving nearly three hours now and was very excited to see her. I tried to have a non-challenging tone, a sort of no-big-deal attitude. I told him that I was upset about not being able to talk to her like I do every day and that I thought it would be a good time to arrange a visit.

Mark was silent on the other end of the phone for a very long time. He finally spoke and said, “Suzanne, when have I ever made a rule that was not for your own good or the good of our relationship? I am so disappointed that you would defy me like this. You may be mad at me, but taking off alone to meet people that neither you nor I know in a place where neither you nor I have ever been is unacceptable behavior. You will turn that car around immediately and start for home. Do I make myself clear?”

His words cut like a knife into my heart. He was right. Since we started DD, his goal has been to watch out for the both of us. I saw no need to argue that point. His voice was demanding and I could tell he wasn’t taking no for an answer. Even if I continued on to her house, I would have to go home at some point and face the music. 

Disappointed I wouldn’t see Donna; I answered with a meek “Yes, sir” and got off at the next exit to turn around. Mark then told me that he was attending one more meeting and canceling the rest for that day. He would be home and waiting for me. With a gulp, I told him the time I estimated I’d be home. He told me not to stop anywhere on the way home unless I needed gas and he ended our conversation with, “I’ll expect to see you in a few hours.” I called Donna to tell her I couldn’t make it. I then began to cry thinking about what awaited me.

I pulled in the driveway and saw that Mark was indeed home. I grabbed my suitcase and walked in the house. Mark was standing near the door and came to meet me with a hug. He said, “I’m glad to see you.” His arms felt good wrapped around me and I wished it would stay that way but just as I expected, he told me to take my suitcase to the bedroom and unpack then wait for him to come in.

I headed to the bedroom feeling as uneasy as I’ve ever felt. In our seven years of DD, I had never done something this serious. I couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking and what he was going to do. It was obvious he wasn’t happy with me but would he think I went too far in my rebellion against a rule I disagreed with. What if he didn’t want a DD relationship anymore thinking I was going to rebel against all his rules? I was so nervous now that I started shaking.

I finished unpacking just as Mark was entering the room. He told me to sit on the bed. Then he came over to sit next to me. He put his hand on my leg and said, “Suzanne, you really surprised me. I know you don’t like the computer restriction but I never thought you would so easily do something you know I would be against.” His voice was that of a stern disciplinarian. It sent shivers up my back. I began to get up off the bed to walk the floor. Immediately his voice raised and he said “sit down and do not move until you are told to move.” I had never seen him so demanding and stern. I obeyed his command and felt the tears begin to well.

Mark got up off the bed and went to the closet where he keeps our spanking implements. He reached in and took a belt off the hook it was hanging from. He turned around to look at me and said, “Seven years ago, did you not agree to submit to my authority?” With my eyes fixated on the floor, I shook my head yes. “Suzanne, look at me and answer my question.” I raised my head and softly spoke a humble, “Yes, sir.” 

“Okay, your little stunt was unsafe and unacceptable. I want to make sure you know that today. Take your pants down to your knees and bend over the bed.” I stood up and did as I was told. I felt as though I should say something, either to make a plea or to apologize but I could tell by his firm tone that speaking right now would not be good. He had a punishment in store and there was no getting out of it.

The first swat of the belt landed with precision across both my cheeks. The sting was more than usual. I could tell he was delivering at nearly full force. The next swat made me yelp and then they came hard and fast. I yelled out that I was sorry in hopes that my contrite heart would shorten the lesson. A couple dozen more continued to burn my backside before he stopped. He put the belt on the bed and told me that he believed I was sorry but that he wanted to make sure I knew how disappointed he was in my decision to go off without asking. I am not allowed to get up from a spanking position until I am given permission and I could hear him getting another implement out of the closet. He has a few favorites for punishments and nervously, I wondered which one I would be experiencing next.

I didn’t have to wait long to find out that the large wood paddle was the next instrument of punishment. This paddle has an immediate bite that brings tears after just two swats. Mark held nothing back. He was angry and I was feeling that anger through the hard piece of wood. The second swat hit and true to form, the tears flowed hard. The impact of my selfishness had sunk in and I was truly sorry for causing him to worry. I received fifteen and two extra for putting my hand back to block, seventeen in all. Mark took my arm and helped me off the bed and to the corner.

“Stay put Suzanne and if I see you rub, you’ll get the paddle all over again.” Being that my nose was in the corner, I had no idea if he left the room or was standing behind me. My bottom felt like bugs were biting it, little stings of pain everywhere but I didn’t dare rub. I made that mistake once and Mark made good on his promise of repeating the swats.

Mark had gone out of the room to get me tissue which he placed in my hand. He usually leaves me in the corner until my sobbing slows down enough to talk. I heard him sit on the bed as I wiped my face and nose. A minute later he called me to him.

I stood in front of him and he wiped my last tear. “I’m sorry I had to be so harsh with you but I needed for you to know the extent of what you did. Had something happened to you, I would lose my life. You are everything to me. I know being out of a job has been hard on you and you need your friends right now. I am keeping you on computer restriction because you absolutely need get out and do other things but I have a couple days I can take off work and if you still want to meet up with Donna, I will go with you to meet her.” I knew right then I should have just talked to him about meeting her. He’s always been fair and giving. 

“I’m very sorry. I’ll never take off like that again. I love you so much. Yes, YES, I do want to meet her. Thank you so much.” We embraced and he lifted me onto the bed for some after care. Besides lotion, his form of aftercare always makes everything completely better.

~o~

This story was written by my friend Lori back in 2008. At that time many of us who blogged together really did spend too much time on the computer. I guess I still do. My thanks to Lori and as always I'd love to have a story from any of you. Send stories to elisspeaks@yahoo.com

Parenting tips from an adult spanko

I already said in this post that spanking is not for children. But there are some parenting tip I want to share. Yes, yes, I know what this blog is supposed to be about. And yes, I know many of my readers have their kids grown and gone – but maybe there are a few who could use these ideas or you can suggest them for your grandkids.

 

I want to give two tips that help me enormously when my kids were little. 

 

Tip #1 – never put a baby in its crib asleep. I know this sounds crazy, but I’m serious. When you give that last feeding of the night and you’ve rock him or her a little and you have that baby sleeping in your arms, it’s so tempting to tiptoe back to the nursery and slip that sleeping bundle into the crib without wakening them. Don’t do it!

 

Talk to the baby as you take him or her to bed, you don’t need to fully rouse them, but try to get them to open their eyes a bit as you coo to them. Then when you place them in the crib, they're drowsy and ready to sleep. We’re trying to get them to process in their new little minds that this is the place to go sleep. Then when they wake during the night, if they aren't wet or hungry, just awake, they’ll cry for a minute, realized that they are where they go to sleep and they will drift off again. If you rock them to sleep every night then in order to get back to sleep they’ll need you to rock them again and you have a vicious cycle. I’m not promising that they’ll never wake up and cry but this really worked for me. Remember kids deserve the chance to learn to sleep on their own.

 

Tip # 2 – When you pick up your toddler from daycare after work you come home, tired and rushed. You need to change, to start dinner preparation, maybe a few minutes of house cleaning and the millions of other things that need doing… and your toddler is fussy! They are pulling on you, whining, crying – driving you nuts! Try this: come in, sit in your favorite chair, take your toddler into your lap and prepare to sit there until they decide to get down. Ask them yes or no questions about their day, tell them a story, let them play with the buttons on your blouse, anything they like. (NO PHONES) 

 

I got this advice and decided to try it wondering how long I would be sitting there with so much to do. The first day we sat almost ninety minutes. But we did have a good time. The next day I tried it again, he sat there fifteen minutes then crawled down and began playing with his toys. The third day, I sat and took him on my lap and he immediately squirmed to get down – he had things to do! All it really took was one afternoon showing him he could have my undivided attentions for as long as he wanted it. Once he knew it was there he didn’t need it that much and peace reigned.

 

Okay, enough tips. I’ll give you the two statements Mollie reminded me of that she hated the most, but fully admits that they worked and that she plans to use them some day. It went something like this.

 

Mollie: Can I spend tomorrow night with Susie?

Me: I’m not sure. Let me talk to your dad and see we have any plan for tomorrow night or the morning after.

Mollie: Please, please I really want to go. Can I? Can I? Please, please, please?

Me: Oh, you have to know right this second? That’s easy, the answer’s no. 

Mollie: No, wait, I don’t have to know right now. Think about it, okay.

Me: Great, I’ll talk to your dad and let you know soon.

 

As she got older and began something like this, I’d just ask, “Do you have to know right now?” and she would hush. She did hate it but it was effective.

 

The second one is that age old statement, loved by parents and hated by kids for hundreds of years – Because I said so.

 

I didn’t use this often. I saw nothing wrong with explaining my reasoning to my kids. Especially as they got older but even when they were young I’d often discuss things with them. But sometimes that age old saying came in handy. Here’s an example (and I’m stealing this straight from John Rosemond, a well-known child psychologist I admire greatly.)

 

Ten-year-old kid to mom: Can I go camping with my friends tonight?

 

Mom: Are there any adults going?

Kid: No, but Tommy brother is going , he’s thirteen.

Mom: Sorry kid, you can’t go.

Kid: Why not?

Mom: Because I said so.

Kid: That’s not a reason!

Mom: Okay, let’s pretend you want to know the reason. It’s not safe for you all to be out in the woods without an adult. You’d want a fire and…

Kid interrupts: No, Mom, seriously we’ll be safe. We know how to be careful with fire and Dan is thirteen…

Mom: See, you didn’t want to know my reasons. You wanted me to change my mind. So basically the reason you can’t go is, because I said so.

 

Again it’s not something to be over used by parents, but sometimes it’s the simplest answer when all they really want is for you to change your mind and you know you are not going to.

 

One last parenting post after Fantasy Friday tomorrow and then I’ll stop. But I do have to tell you about the punishment Mollie dreaded like the plague.

What are your thoughts on spanking children?

Were you spanked as a child? Were your parents? What about your kids? So many books and stories have the women say, “You want to spank me, like I was a child?” We talk about spanking a lot out here, but I’m curious about what people think now days, because the idea of spanking children has changed a lot in the past fifty years. 

 

Spanking was the norm here in the south as I grew up. Country children were ‘whooped’ or ‘switched’ while more sophisticated

parents spanked or paddled their kids. Paddling was allowed in schools – it actually still is, thought only an idiot administrator would use it now. When a teacher was going to paddle a child another teacher needed to be there to witness. The first year I taught I was asked to witness a paddling. The male teacher paddled an 8^th grade girl for chewing gum. I was new and green and went to witness because I didn’t know what else to do. I felt then, and still feel, that both of them enjoyed the encounter too much.  But I sure as hell didn’t! I finally got up my courage (a very unusual thing at the time) and told that teacher to never ask me to be a witness again. He didn’t.

 

I was spanked as a child, rarely, but it happened and I have no doubt I’d done something to deserved it. I grew up with no fear of my parents and I still love them dearly although they passed many years ago. I know my father and his six rowdy brothers were on the receiving end of a belt or a hairbrush more than a few times. And as fine grown men I could see the love and respect they felt for both their parents. So I don’t go along with the assertion that if a child is spanked they will grow up to hate and fear their parents nor do I believe that they will all become serial killers. 

 

My own children were spanked a time or two, but it was a rarity. I’ve written about this before but when Mollie was almost four she took the baby powder and covered my whole bedroom – we had dark blue carpet at the time. It was a mess! And very hard to clean. I sent her to her room for a time out – about fifteen minutes and explained to her what I was upset about and to leave the baby powder alone! Then I spent hours cleaning and doing laundry. 

 

The next day she did it again! Let’s just say mommy wasn’t happy. I marched her to her room and told her she was getting a spanking. And she got one – about four swats on a fully-clothed bottom. I doubt she really felt them and I know it didn’t hurt, but that ‘spanking’ impressed upon her how very upset I was with her. When she got up the next morning she came to me and said, "Mommy I been tinking. I don't tink I'm going to powder your room today." I told her I thought that she had made a wise decision and she doesn't seem to hate or resent me today.

 

I talked to my kids and they listened – something I fear we’re losing as both parent and children spiral further into phone addiction. I did a lot of discipline by watching TV with them. When a kid would do something stupid or dangerous on a show, I’d say something like, “Nana and Granddaddy would have _______ if I’d done that.” Or maybe, “Wow, what would you have done if that was your kid?” And it would start a real discussion without me lecturing or have them feeling like I was fussing at them.

 

So having said all this, would I recommend using spanking as a discipline tool for children today? While deep in my secret soul I’m not against a stern face and a moderate swat to the behind of a young child doing something they KNOW they shouldn’t do, I would have to say no, I do not recommend spanking children.

 

The reason? I’ve run across too many parents throughout my life, and especially in my teaching career, who are crazy as hell!  In my head I hear the word spanking in reference to a child and think of those few swats to the butt, but others picture yanking off a belt and beating the child severely. So because of all the crazies in the world, I give a firm ‘no, never!’ to spanking children.

If this were an actual picture of my kids 

it would be Mollie pulling LJ's hair.

But I do have some good ideas on disciplining children. I never gave advice when my kids were young, because I didn’t know if I was right or how they might turn out. But they turned out well and I’m going to post some things I think worked well. I know a good portion of my readers won’t have any use for this so I’ll give you fair warning to skip my next post. A girl has to have something to write about.

Fantasy Friday Revival - From the Journal of Dr. Spankenstiein

I am so happy that Friday has finally arrived, and with it another wonderful story. This one is from a man's point of view.

From the Journal of Dr. Spankenstein

She’s waggling again. This behavior would have likely gone unnoticed by the casual observer. But being a trained scientist, I notice these things: the subtle sway of her hips, the sparkle in her eyes, her out-thrust chin. Just as honeybee workers perform their waggle dance to relay information to their sisters in the hive, my mate performs hers to relay her need to me. It is such a primal part of her that I doubt if she even knows she’s doing it. If I’ve read her correctly, she is need of a recreational spanking.

Penelope and I had been married almost 6 years before we discovered her need for spanking. Coming from a very proper background, it had taken her a while to loosen up enough to experiment in the bedroom. We tried light bondage a bit, but we really struck a chord when I lightly spanked her bottom. She really took to it and asked that it become a permanent feature in our play. She even took a subscription to Sassy Lady, a magazine that featured fantasy spanking stories. We even purchased a few tools of the trade. She began to crave more severe treatments. She had truly found her niche.

This changed 4 years later with the birth of our first child. We no longer had the time, energy, or privacy. After nearly a decade of Penelope either being pregnant or lactating, we finally got our bedroom back to ourselves. She began to crave it again. Her favorite magazine had gone under during our hiatus. She struck out on the internet and discovered a bold new world. Like a bee sampling flowers, she sampled blogs and sites until she found the perfect fit for her. It seems she really likes a mix of domestic discipline and erotic spankings. She bravely explained her needs to me and I have worked diligently to fulfill them.

Being a trained observer, I’ve learned to look for the verbal and nonverbal cues that she displays to work out the actions that best address her needs. I’ve concluded that she needs two different treatments depending upon the situation. The first is what I call a therapeutic or punitive spanking when she is under a lot of strain or has wronged a friend or family member. Most of my cues are verbal. She could be snapping more frequently at the children, using the flat “I’m fine” voice, or The Voice (think Hillary Clinton after being asked an unflattering question). These are the more severe spankings that contain harder strokes, last longer, and usually involve multiple implements. The act is almost an act of contrition or emotional release for her and she is usually greatly relieved and calmed afterwards.

The other type, I’ve labeled a recreational spanking. In this case the horny little minx simply wants her bottom reddened for the sensation of it. My cue for this one is usually nonverbal, she waggles. This is the type that I’m faced with tonight. After we’ve gotten our brood to sleep, I instruct her to lock our bedroom door, disrobe, and get on all fours on the bed. I start out slow by rubbing and kneading her shapely bottom to increase blood flow in the target area. I then give her a rapid succession of bare-handed swats. This is followed by more kneading and rubbing. Since she has been particularly good this week, I next use her favorite paddle, a medium-sized hardwood paddle with lots of thud. 

After about a dozen whacks with this beauty, her skin becomes flushed, her knees begin to weaken and her reddened little behind begins to perform a very different waggle dance, one whose meaning is both unmistakable and irresistible………oh yeah………I think we’ve created a monster.

~o~

I do like a story from the man’s point of view. We don’t have nearly enough input from some of the guy out here. This was written by Carye’s Papa Shrek. Carye was a very active participant out here many years ago and I'd sure love to see her back. If you, or your man, would enjoy trying a story please send it to elisspeaks@yahoo.com