The truth about truths and lies

 Monday I put up a post listing four truths and two lies about myself. If you'd like to make a guess before you read the answers you can click back here and see what you think.

1.     I bought a house for myself when I was twenty-four years old.

I did buy my own house at the age of twenty-four. I was renting a nice place but after two years there the land lady said no pets. My cat was my child so I decided to buy her a house. I found a three bedroom, one bath house. Large kitchen,  a dining room and a nice living room with a fireplace. It was on ¾ of an acre. And get this, it cost a whopping $28,500! I had saved hard forever, but I knew I couldn’t really afford it without a larger down payment to get the monthly payments down. Then my parents and my sister each contributed some for a down payment. I was still on the fence when I accidently ran into the owner. He offered to carry a second mortgage for five years. And I snapped it up. I lived there until Nick and I married two years later and we lived in his house. We rented mine out for a year or so and then, when I was pretty sure our marriage would take, we sold it.

2.     I grew up on the same street as my elementary school and my high school.

This one is true, too. I love my small southern town. I could see the elementary school from our house and it was always my playground. Then less than half a mile down the road in the other direction was the high school. We always walked to the Friday night football games. They eventually built a new high school and turned my old high school into a middle school. That’s where I taught for thirty years.

3.     My best friend when I was a child was a boy. We never could understand why our parents wouldn’t let us spent the night at one another’s home.

Nope, not true. Cathy was my best friend and we slept over all the time. I did have a lot of guy friends, but I guess instinctively we knew our parents wouldn’t approve of sleep overs.

4.     I lived for two years in an apartment with three other girls and twenty pets.

True! This was during college. I guess in this large apartment – the upper floor of an old house the four girls wasn’t a big stretch. But we were all in a program to become veterinary technicians. So we had our cats and then we took in a two dogs with pups, and then a cat with her litter. I actually think it got over twenty pets at times.

5.     Despite growing up in the 70’s I’ve only had sex with two men in my whole life.

False! Several of you were right on this one. Nick has been my one and only!

6.     I’ve visited Africa.

This is true. My parents were big travelers. Dad especially love it. They took us on a trip to Spain when I was thirteen and one day on that trip we flew over to Africa and we toured the Casbah in Morocco.

This was fun. I hope it gave you a few minutes of distraction.

Truths and Lies

I thought I’d take a page from Ronnie’s site and give you a few truths and a few lies.  Four of the following are true, two are lies. You guess which are lies and I’ll let you know later in the week how you did.

1.     I bought a house for myself when I was twenty-four years old.

2.     I grew up on the same street as my elementary school and my high school.

3.     My best friend when I was a child was a boy. We never could understand why our parents wouldn’t let us spent the night at one another’s home.

4.     I lived for two years in an apartment with three other girls and twenty pets.

5.     Despite growing up in the 70’s I’ve only had sex with two men in my whole life.

6.     I’ve visited Africa.

Fantasy Friday Revival - Help Wanted, chapter 4

Hopefully we're all still safe in our homes and looking to read more Fantasy Friday. Today we have the forth chapter in ‘Help Wanted’. If you’ve read the first three you know it keeps getting better and better. If you haven’t you can go back and read chapter 1, chapter 2 and chapter 3 by clicking on them.

So with thanks again to my anonymous friend, enjoy…

HELP WANTED
Chapter 4

Amy drifted awake to the sound of birds singing, palm trees rustling and an arm like a band of steel holding her firmly against RJ’s chest. Snuggling deeper against him she smiled at the tenderness of her bottom, rubbing it against him and reveling in the knowledge that she belonged to him. If anyone had told her that she would fall in love with a rich, legless man who planned to paddle her backside several times a day she would have laughed. As crazy as it sounded it felt more right than anything in her entire life. Not that she enjoyed the spanking part, at least not the real ones. When he punished there was nothing fun about it. With just his hard hand he could leave her hot and tender for hours, the paddle extended the discomfort to the next morning. Oh, but what came after, now that was worth any amount of spanking. Not only was he a tender and accomplished lover, he made her feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. And the not so real spankings, the times he warmed her bottom just because he wanted to, then made love to her, now that was something even more astounding. She loved it. The feel of his hand, the heat getting stronger, his deep voice asking her if she liked her bottom all hot and red, telling her how beautiful she looked wiggling under his palm. Just thinking about it made her wet. Last night he had asked her if she needed a spanking and she almost came in her panties.

RJ woke to the delicious feel of Amy rubbing her bottom against him. This had been the most enjoyable time of his life. She made him feel whole again, hell, she made him feel eighteen again, horny all of the time, ready to toss up her skirt and take her if she even looked at him. Like now, it couldn’t be much past sunrise and they had made love into the wee hours of the night, but the mere touch and smell of her and he was hard and straining against her before he was fully awake.

“I guess you’re rubbing that butt so I’ll know you are ready for your morning trip over my lap?”

Giggling, Amy turned in his arms and offered her lips for a morning kiss before replying.

“You better feed me first. I’m starving, and I know where that stuff leads.”

She almost slipped away but he snagged one foot and drew her back to him, screaming in mock outrage. Without a word he flipped her over and peppered her creamy flesh with handprints until she breathlessly surrendered. Turning her he settled her hot bottom against his now painful fullness and kissed her thoroughly. Sliding his fingers through her slippery folds and hearing her whimper with wanting him he changed his mind about teasing her until after breakfast. Placing her thighs over his powerful forearms he lifted her easily, slowly lowering her onto his waiting shaft without breaking his kiss, sliding home and resisting her attempts to move. Holding her, spread open and filled completely, he turned his attention to her breasts, biting her hardened nipples gently then sucking them deep into his mouth. When she started pushing against his chest trying to move against him, he quickly pulled her arms behind her back, easily holding both wrists in one large hand.

“I don’t remember telling you to move, little girl, now I’m going to have to punish you.”

With her hands behind her back her nipples were ripe for his attention. Drawing one nipple deep into his mouth and circling her hard clit with one thumb, he felt her pulse around him, desperate to feel him slide in and out. Keeping a slow and lazy rhythm he teased her until she was ready to scream with need.

“Tell me again just how hungry you are.” he growled against her neck, nipping her tender flesh and flicking his finger against her.

“Oh darling, it’s you I’m hungry for.” she whispered.

“If you’re sure, I don’t want you fainting from hunger right in the middle of an orgasm.”

“Please, RJ, don’t make me beg. Love me, darling, I need to feel you pounding into me.”

Cupping one hand under her ass he lifted her to the very tip of his penis and let her slide its full length, deep and hard.

“Is that what you want? A big, hard dick pounding inside.” he asked as she came to rest with him buried to the hilt inside her. “Or did you want some more of this?” Now swirling his thumb over her hungry clit.

Without giving her a chance to answer he claimed her mouth, matching his tongue to his penis as he lifted her up and down, flicking his thumb side to side, until she was drowning in sensation. In just a few strokes she shuddered around him, calling out his name. The look of her, head back, eyes closed, screaming his name, pushed him over the edge and he pounded to his own climax deep within her.

“Now that’s my idea of a morning work out. I’d rather lift you than a barbell any day. Now I’m hungry, and we’re both sticky, how about a quick shower and we’ll get some food?”

Soaping each other, tickling and teasing took a little longer than separate showers but was much more fun. Relaxed and refreshed, wearing a silk pareo around her waist, Amy served fruit and muffins on the deck.

“I think I’ll have you serve my breakfast topless everyday from now on.” he mused, admiring the gentle sway of her breasts as she leaned to pour his juice.

“Only on the island.” she amended, “That will give you an incentive to come back often.”

*****

The days flew by in a haze of sensation and they settled into a comfortable ease with one another. It was amazing how well they fit, both in bed and out. Amy knew it had to end, but still found herself wishing they could stay forever. RJ postponed the decision for as long as he could but after ten days he knew he had to return. Watching the sunset over the water with Amy perched on his lap he nuzzled her neck and wished they could stay on the island, this was the most happiness he had known in his life.

“We have to go back to the real world tomorrow. I called for the pilot to pick us up at noon so we can sleep late one last time.”

“I hate to leave, but I know we have to.” Burying her face against his shoulder, she whispered, “I just don’t want to lose what we found here.”

“Living on the ship may be different, but we’ll be the same people we are here.”

“Promise we’ll come back soon?”

“I promise.”

Content with that they sat quietly, until the last light faded from the sky. Neither spoke the fear that haunted them both, that returning to the real world would shatter the precious trust they were building between them. Their lovemaking was urgent as the last night of their idyll slipped away.

The ship seemed exactly as they had left it but there was an underlying sense of tension. RJ’s desk was stacked with paperwork needing his approval. Thinking they would get started Amy was surprised when he asked her to take care of a business matter on shore. Hurrying to her cabin to dress she pondered this change in their routine. The agreement stated she would not leave the ship without RJ. Maybe he was starting to trust her after all. Funny, when she couldn’t leave that was all she thought about, now that he was letting her go, she wanted him to go with her.

Just as she stepped from the shower the fax dinged. Amy’s heart sank at the standard, formal sheet, telling her the schedule, what to wear, when to be ready. Back to business as usual. No more playing, she was just the hired help. Dashing the tears from her eyes Amy dressed as directed and planned her trip to shore. To add insult to injury, when she arrived back at his office the steward was waiting for her. Mr. Drake was on an important call and could not be interrupted. She was to deliver a package of documents to an attorney in town and carry the signed final copy back. Refusing to let him see her wounded pride, Amy took the packet and left on the launch, her mind racing with plans.

At the attorney’s office there was a small delay, taking this opportunity she dashed a quick note to Mr. RJ Drake, letting him know that she was not interested in returning to the “bargain”, and had it added to the packet to be delivered to the launch driver at the dock. It would be a few hours before he knew she had left, plenty of time to get a flight off of the island. In the back of the cab, she sobbed all the way to the airport, and wondered where to go.

RJ had the entire boat in an uproar the moment she left. He could only count on a few hours before she returned and everything had to be perfect. The jeweler had a selection of rings; it took forever to choose the perfect one. The florist was decorating the cabin and private deck with the flowers they had enjoyed on the island. The champagne was chilling and he ordered a selection of food that could be easily eaten in bed. The attorney was to call when she was leaving so they would ready. Obsessing over each detail he treated this the same as any other take over or merger. He was planning for the rest of his life here, it all had to be perfect.

The call from the attorney was an embarrassment, the copy of her note they faxed to him was devastating. It was all an act, she was walking out just like his wife. Hurt and angry, he called a friend at the airport and arranged to have her detained. She may be finished with him, but he wasn’t quite finished with her.

~o~

What a place to stop! And here is when I can tell you I have good news – there is still one more chapter coming! Thank you to anyone who has helped with FF in the past and thank you to everyone who is hoping to write for us in the future. Send any stories to elisspeaks@yahoo.com

Problems with publishing

I guess it’s not a surprise for me to tell you I enjoy writing. I can’t spell. My understanding of exactly where commas should be placed is often lacking. And I do throw in the occasional run-on sentence.  You can ask my editor, she will definitely confirm this. Rosie Dee is an angel! She encourages me to just write the story. She always says that she’ll help me with those details as I send each chapter off to her. God bless her!

But I have a problem now and I don’t know where to turn to for help. 

I began with a small publishing company that was eventually absorbed by a larger company. Essentially I’ve been with the same company since the first book came out in 2013. They have treated me well and I have no complaints.

But within the company there have been problems. I’ve never met any of these people personally. But there were several I’ve worked with closely. And one was very, very kind and helpful. She was instrumental in getting the Cassie book in paperback, for which I will always be grateful. But something happened. I don’t know all the details – actually I don’t know any of the details, but of the four people I knew best, three left the publishing house abruptly at the same time. After that things got really ugly with legal charges being thrown around. One of those that left was the one I trusted the most. 

Many of the authors I ‘know’ cut ties with the publisher and are going to self-publish. I could do that. I have someone who’s done it and could help me. But here is my true problem. I feel, though no one has said this, that if I go on my own, the publishing house will pull all my books from sale. They own the rights to them for seven years from when they were first published. I don’t want to lose Cassie. I want them out there to sell. Sharing Cassie is a joy for me and something I’ve wanted to do for years.

I have a new Cassie book ready to go. It’s a new series, concentrating on all the characters in Cassie’s world, but one I know Cassie fans would enjoy. When I sent in my last book, the publishing company didn’t want it until I had two more finished to quickly follow it up. So I’m working on the second one now. But whenever I finish it I think I will still be torn as to what to do with it.

My vision of Cassie and Tom

The company and always been good to me. But I don’t like the way they treated my friend when she left. If I have them publish the books, am I being disloyal to my friend and all those authors who chose to leave? The writers that left are people I truly respect. Or am I just making a business deal?

I realize in today’s crazy world my tiny ‘first world' problem is extremely minor. But I still have a great desire to have my books published and out there for anyone who wants to read them. I think there is a market for my books although I don’t find may like them out here. 

Many of the books now are so harsh! Love may come into the story somewhere in these books, but they seem to be dark and cruel - whips, chains, cages, dungeons… That’s all wonderful for those who enjoy reading it. But I want to read about love, friendships, ‘real’ people that could be my neighbors. Cassie may get some real barn-burners when it comes to spankings, but there is never any doubt about the love she and Tom share. I think there are lots of readers out there who prefer this, especially the way things are now. Wish I knew how to let them know my books are here. 

I guess I’ll just keep writing and hope everything works itself out. I’ll get the new books published somehow somewhere and when I do, I’ll let you know.

Cassie Space series

Redecorating is DONE!

Finally, finally, finally our redecoration project is 99% done. We actually began back last August. It’s gone in fits and starts ever since. Then of course everything shut down. But finally two weeks ago we began talking to one workman at the time. We discussed it with them to see if they would feel safe coming into our home and if we’d feel safe with them here. They came in one at a time, I stayed it the other room and it seemed to work fine.

We got new furniture before we really began on the room, so when we began the room looked like this. Not horrible, but I was more than tired of the brick.

The first and main thing we did was lose the brick and put up the bookcases and stone work on the fireplace. I gave you this view about half way through.

But the finished product included the new window treatment and the new floor, both of which I really love! 

We may be stuck at home but right now I really love out home so it’s not much of a problem. The cat, however, has been totally unimpressed.

Fantasy Friday Revival - Help Wanted, Chapter 3

I hope having a Fantasy Friday each week is helping in some small way. And I love a story with many parts. Here are part one and part two. Now please enjoy the next part.

HELP WANTED
Chapter 3

Amy flew through her shower and had her makeup and hair done when the fax machine dinged. Her daily schedule, right on time.  Grabbing it she scanned for the wardrobe choice then frowned. It called for linen slacks and a silk shirt for the morning work period. So, it was going to be business as usual. He just humored her to get her to leave. Deeply disappointed, Amy was pulling the uniform of the day out of the closet when the machine dinged again. Surprised, she ran to see what was so important that it took two pages in one day.

Amy, Please cancel previous orders.
We will be leaving the ship, a bag will be packed for you.
Casual clothing will be fine.
Departure following breakfast.
RJ

Well, well, Mr. Control was changing the plans for the day. That came as a bigger surprise than his permission to dress herself. Giggling, Amy ran to the closet to find just the right thing.

*****

RJ watched in frank admiration as Amy coolly entered the solarium in a white sundress that showed off her tan. The neckline left little doubt that she was skipping foundation garments for the days outing. He found himself wondering if that extended to skipping panties as well. Acting as if it were a regular day Amy seated herself and served their normal breakfast of fruit and muffins. Knowing he disliked chatter she waited for him to tell her the plans for the day.

"We will be flying out as soon as the pilot is ready. I expect to be back tomorrow afternoon at the latest. I feel it would be a mistake to muddy the waters of our contract. Therefore we will be taking a break. I am inviting you to join me for an evening on a quiet island, no obligations, just a chance to get to know one another. It is voluntary. Once we return to this ship, the contract will continue."

Reaching across the table to take her hand RJ gave her one more chance to back out.

"Will you please join me for a day of relaxing on the beach?"

"Why, I would love to Mr. Drake. Will anyone else be joining us?"

"No, the pilot will drop us and return at the arranged time. Unless you would prefer we bring a small staff. If you would be more comfortable it can be”

"No, no," she interrupted, "just us is perfect."

Sighing with relief, RJ asked to steward to let the pilot know they were ready. An hour later they were landing on a small island with not a soul in sight. A small cove sheltered a stunning white sand beach and a small boat was tied at the end of the dock. While they looked over the scenery the pilot ran ahead and returned shortly with a dune buggy. Enough boxes to feed 20 people joined the wheelchair and several overnight bags in the back. Once in the buggy RJ waved the pilot on and then hurried forward to avoid the rotor wash from the helicopter as it rose. A path led between the palm trees and opened to a portico in front of a small but lovely cottage. The sandy path gave way to a concrete driveway leading to the front door.

"This is no four star hotel." he cautioned. "We're on our own. I built this place after the accident. I needed a place to get away and fend for myself. I come here several times a year for peace and quiet."

Swinging the wheelchair out he made a smooth transfer and escorted her inside. It was a simple floor plan, the front half offering a kitchen and sitting area, the rear, a bedroom and bath. Each wall had large, floor to ceiling windows, cranked open to catch the breeze and doors opening to the covered patio that ran around the entire house. A sundeck extended off of the bedroom. Each area had cabinets built in low for easy access. Amy was enchanted with the simple elegance.

"It's beautiful! How can you stand to ever leave?"

"Too much of a good thing can render it ordinary. I come here to be alone, but I do have responsibilities and a business to run, I can't hide out forever."

Amy noted the completely masculine air to the décor, the place looked perfect for him, sleek, uncluttered and efficient, but totally gorgeous. On impulse, she ran to him and threw her arms around his neck, kissing his cheek.

"Thank you for sharing this place with me."

"I've never brought anyone here before, but it seemed like the perfect place for us to get to know each other." Tipping her face to his, he kissed her deeply. "I want our time to be special for both of us." And I want to remember you here after you've moved on, he thought, kissing her again.

Scooping her up onto his lap, RJ wheeled them into the bedroom and laid her gently on the bed. He ached with wanting her but resolved to make this last, for both of them. He wanted their day off to be perfect for her, just holding her, feeling her arousal was close enough to perfect for him.

Amy felt like she was drowning. Whatever it was must be chemical, she mused, he was definitely not her usual type. Of course, falling for the pretty boys with no ambition was how she ended up on this trip in the first place. There was something so solid about him. Even if he was cold sometimes, she wondered if maybe he was just protecting himself. There must be hundreds of women chasing after a rich, good-looking guy like him. Sure, that was why she was here, no reason to hide from the hired help, she was safe and expendable.

Feeling her stiffen and withdraw, RJ knew it was too good to be true. She was just like the rest, dazzled by his money but he didn't have enough to overcome those stumps once they got a closer look.

"I am sorry; this is a mistake, Amy. We'll be leaving as soon as the pilot returns, I'll try to reach him before he gets to the ship."

"You bring me here, treat me like something you bought and paid for, and then get upset if I don't just roll over and spread my legs out of pure gratitude? You miserable bastard."

RJ didn't see it coming until it was too late. Her hand cracked against the side of his face snapping his head back and causing him to topple over. He rolled with the impact and caught her other hand, pulling her onto the bed and across his lap in one smooth motion. Furious at her for daring to slap him and himself for daring to hope she would be different, he blistered her bottom until she was sobbing, then left her there crying miserably.

After a few minutes his temper cooled and he was able to acknowledge her biggest offense had been getting inside of his defense. It wasn’t the first time he wanted something he couldn’t have, probably not the last either. Steeling himself for the big “just not meant to be” speech he returned to the bedroom to find her face down, red bottom wreathed with her gauzy dress, and sobbing as if her heart were broken. The sight of his handprint on the creamy skin of her thigh, as if he had marked her as his private property, caused a tightening in his groin. Determined to make up to her for losing his temper he sat next to her and began gently rubbing the sting out of her soft skin.

“Please, don’t pretend that you care about me, it only makes this worse. I have made a big enough fool of myself over you. All you had to do was say no. I hoped to make love with you, but I refuse to be a paid fuck.”

RJ was stunned. He thought it was his handicap that put her off.

“What are you talking about? You’re the one that got cold feet once you got a good look at me. And no one is talking about paying you to fuck, and I don’t expect to hear such language from you again. Things were fine and then you pulled away, looked at me like I was some kind of freak.”

“All I could think of was how you could have anyone you wanted, but you were here with me, because I’m just the hired help, so it doesn’t really count.”

Pulling her up to face him, RJ soothed her and wiped her tears.

“Listen to me; I am here because I want very much to make love to you, not because you work for me, but in spite of it. If you want to leave just say so, we’ll go back to the boat and pretend this never happened. If we stay here, I am going to do my best to make sure this is a night we both remember.”

Amy finally looked him in the eye, “I want to stay, if you do.”

“Let’s start over then.” Leaning forward he gently brushed her mouth with his lips, giving her every chance to set the pace. To his delight she returned his kiss with abandon, slipping her tongue deep in his mouth and melting against him. His hands clutching her hot bottom reminded her of how it felt to be over his lap and she moaned into his mouth.

“I am so sorry for losing my temper.”

Turning her onto her stomach he gently kissed the heated flesh until she was desperate for more. Lifting her to her knees he took in the sight of her, spread open to him, the scent of her arousal strong, her delicate folds framed by the still red bottom. Sliding his fingers inside her he traced his tongue over the swollen nub at her center until she dissolved in spasms. Not giving her a chance to catch her breath he pulled her back onto his lap and slid deep inside, pulling her dress over her head, he rocked them gently and pulled on her extended nipples.

“Oh, please, I want, oh,” Amy babbled with the sensation building.

“I know exactly what you want, but first you get what you need.”

Slowly, teasing and tantalizing, he played her body, drawing another shattering orgasm from her before he began lifting her, his arms under her thighs, holding her open and allowing him to slide deep inside. Knowing he could not hold back much longer he paced himself to her rhythm, and feeling her begin to shudder, lost himself in her sweetness.

They dozed in each other’s arms, a light breeze playing over their sweat slick bodies, until the setting sun brought a chill to the air.

“Thank you, Amy, for one of the most perfect afternoons of my life. I have been thinking about your mouth, swollen and soft from lovemaking, smiling just like you’re doing now.”

“Every time you punish me I hope you will hold me and kiss me afterwards. You make me feel so safe. I hate going to bed alone, wishing you were there.”

“Well I’m here now, and I’m starving. How about a picnic by moonlight?”

“You wait right here, I want my picnic in bed.”

Amy ran off to the kitchen and soon returned with a platter of sandwiches and fruit, and a bottle of chilled white wine. After much begging RJ relented and called to cancel the pick up flight. He was in no hurry to return to work, and even less hurry to go back to separate beds. A few days spent in bed with a beautiful woman was not a bad deal, especially one who was willing to get her fanny warmed first.

Amy just knew if she could keep him away from the yacht for a few days he would see that they could never go back to the way things were before. The thought of being sent off to bed, all alone, with a hot bottom, was too depressing.

He may not know it yet, but they were meant for each other, and she wasn’t going to give up until she made him admit it.

~o~

Don’t worry. There is more to come, and again my thanks to my anonymous friend and fantastic writer.  I always need more and I hope some of you are going to try a story and share it with the rest of us. Send any stories to elisspeaks@yahoo.com

What is normal?

Everyone keeps saying they want to get back to normal. But it’s not going to happen. Not completely. Things will get better, we get people back to work, we’ll go shopping… but it’s not going to be like it was before for a long time. And I’m guessing it’s not going to feel the same for years. Or until we accept the ‘normal’ it becomes.

I’m posting here but I’m talking to myself. I seem to be in a hurry up and wait situation – one of my least favorite feelings. I’m finding myself in a holding pattern. I’m waiting to exercise until things are normal again. I’m waiting to clean out closets and drawers until I feel normal again. I haven’t even been writing until it ‘right’ again. And I think I’m sinking further and further into my recliner never to move again – unless you count wandering to the kitchen for snacks.

For me it’s not like I want to go anywhere. I’m exactly where I want to be. It’s the wanting to feel normal that has me stuck. I want to feel that everything will go back the way it was on January 1^st  and I want it to happen completely by tomorrow. I’m not holding my breath.

I’ve decide to do better. I like making lists of what I want to get done. I’ve always loved lists, and I do make them daily since I retired. Sometime I stick to the list other times, not so much. But I do like to put certain things on there every day. Here’s my list for today.

I love including thing I really enjoy doing – breakfast, comment/emailing and working on the book are three of my favorites and they are always on there. 

The most important thing on this list to me is ‘work on book.’ It’s past time for me to get started on it. I’ve been making notes and jotting down ideas for months now and I know that I’ll feel more normal writing about my friends. I guess things are really bad when I feel more ‘real’ in Cassie’s world than I do my own. But maybe it’s not so strange when I think about it. In Cassie’s world I have totally and complete control of everything. That makes me feel good and I can’t say that about the real world at the moment. 

I hope you are finding ways to feel normal and in control in your world.

LJ lost an old friend

LJ and Colin are still doing well in NYC. Staying in is driving LJ nuts, but he’s doing it and work is going well. One thing he misses more than most anything is his special bar. The group that gets together every Monday night is very special to him. He compares it to a church. Not that it is religious in any way, but he says the community feel is the same. They care about each other, they keep up with one another and in the current crises check in to make sure everyone has what they need and to make sure everyone is coping as well as they can.

One of his special friend at the bar is Bev. She LOVES the club and often comes on Monday nights, because the boys that show up then are her favorites. You know I’m talking gay bar, right? LJ has mentioned her several times and sometimes sends me pictures and videos. Unlike most of those at the bar, Bev is always dressed elegantly - hair and make up done just right. Also Bev is somewhere between 85 and 90 years old.

But Bev wasn’t the old friend he lost, it was Bev’s mother, Mary. She often accompanied her daughter to the bar, just as elegantly attired. She was 105. She celebrated her last birthday at the bar. They had a big cake with candles for her and after singing Happy Birthday, everyone sang her favorite song, written in 1925 by Irving Berlin – Always, which ends…

Days may not be fair always,

That's when I’ll be there always.

Not for just an hour,

Not for just a day,

Not for just a year,

But always.

Not for just an hour,

Not for just a day,

Not for just a year,

But always.

LJ sent along the video and you could see the complete and absolute joy in her face, as well as her daughter's and truly everyone at the bar as they sang, while Mary blew kisses to everyone.

Last Friday, LJ texted me. He said: 

You’ve heard me talk of Mary. She was the 105 year old who came to the club. We just heard she died peacefully in her sleep a few days ago. I’m not really sad, more like proud of a job well done.

I have to agree with him. She sounds like she knew how to live. May we all live like Mary.