I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Monday, September 10, 2007

Thanks guys!

I really want to thank everybody that commented! This whole communication this is extremely difficult for me. And that post was something I did want to say. Nick has heard me and I have heard from him too. We are going to be fine, don’t ever doubt that. But sometimes the pot does have to be stirred.

Now if someone will PLEASE invite Mollie over for the evening!!!!

My comments were so helpful I have answered them here.



Bonnie said...
PK,Nick needn't read your entire blog from the beginning. This post alone should be enough.Randy and I have had our ups and downs. Just as you note, the down times were characterized by less frequent touching, loving, and spanking.The path back, it seems to me, starts with innovation. I don't mean that you and Nick should take up hang gliding or basket weaving. Small changes can have a great impact. Innovation tends to become self-reinforcing and, given a good effort by both partners, little changes can quickly yield big benefits.I think your idea about implements is right on target. Other approaches we use include new role play scenarios, lingerie, costumes, restraints, sex toys, locations (nothing beats a spanko weekend getaway), positions, music, photographs, mirrors, blindfolds, scented oils, body paint, candles, and writing out fantasies. The idea is to make your time together special. By loving and sharing together, you reinforce the bond between you.I believe this is probably just a bump in the road. You and Nick are still headed in the right direction.Hugs,Bonnie

Bonnie it really helps to know that even a couple who both are so into spanking can have ups and downs with it. You had some great ideas. I would love a spanko weekend away. We haven’t done enough of that.

Dove said...
Hi PKBonnie has given you great advice and I agree if Nick reads just this post it says it all. I really feel for you and I understand even though you have opened up how hard it is each time to do it again. Don't give up you will find a way. HugsDove

I think a lot of us have felt this way at one time or another. Opening up is very hard for me. But I keep trying and one of these days it is supposed to get easier. I hope Nick will love me when I get old enough to get it right!

Paul said...
PK, dear friend, Bonnie really has said it all.Every road has a few bumps on it, when I talk about my marriage, I highlight the best bits, that's human nature.We had our times when we seemed to lose touch, one such time was when I realized that Mel no longer needed real punishment, she thought that I was falling out of love because I no longer punished her hard.It took a while for her to realize that I loved her more because she no longer needed that incentive.This is a blip, you'll see, why not print this post and give it to Nick.Love and warm reassuring hugs,Paul.

I will never be able to think of your marriage as anything but absolutely perfect! I know what you are saying is true though and I guess if you and Mel were not perfect Nick and I don't have to be either.

mthc said...
Pk,I also think Bonnie and Dove are right about Nick reading this post.Email it to him or print it out as Paul Says. We're not nearly as active as we once were but the interest is coming back. Sometimes things just get in the way.With David i pretty much h-A-V-E T-O S-P-E-L-L I-T O-U-T. (smiles)

I heard what happened after David read this comment! LOL good for him, and you too of course! I guess I forget that interest can have its ups ands downs too.

david said...
How come Mthc didn't mention that yesterday her ass cheeks were a lovely shade of crimson and that she was covered in baby oil? By all her moaning it was a good thing our windows were down or the whole town would have heard her moaning and coming.Nick I'm waiting for a great post from Pk that you have come back to your senses and that you had a wonderful SPANKING, SEXUAL time together.I like Bonnie's idea on the new approaches so get busy and have a wonderful time pleasing your woman.*hugs and grins*

David I am beginning to think that there is one more thing that spankos have in common – we have VERY short memories!! We need constant reminders!

Theresa said...
Have you heard the commercials on match.com by Dr Phil? He says girls cannot connect the dots too much for men. We cannot make the lines between the dots to bold for men. I also think Bonnie is right, reading this post should be enough.I have told Will I want his hands on my bottom or at least on me all the time. That part is as important to me as sex and spanking!HuggsTheresa

Amen girl, you understand completely!


Kallisto said...
Hi PK---I hope this is just a blip in the road and you all can get back on track. It takes work, just like any other part of a relationship. It is so easy for time to slip by without things happening, and Nick might have gotten the idea that you were losing interest in it--although heaven only knows how? Spanky also doesn't understand why spanking works for me, but sees the results, and loves them! I am definitely keeping you in my thoughts.......get him back on track!Big hugs,Kallisto

I am sure we are going to be fine. They say all marriages have rocky periods and smooth periods. We really haven’t, I have always felt our basic marriage has always been fine. So I never learned how to complain about things and get back to normal. Maybe it is time I learned!

Caryagal said...
Wow, Great advice here. I'd print out the comments if possible too! We have ups and downs too. You'll make it through it. So will Nick. Try starting with touching him more and encouraging him to do the same :-)Carye

I love the advice in your last sentence! That one I am really going to try!

Anonymous said...
Does anyone else who read the post from Sept 4 think it was a little early to announce a big spanking drought on Sept 8? I am trying to get PK to understand it is mostly a reduction in opportunity and partially an issue of perception. I agree with many of the comments "Bonnie said it very well".Nick

Now Nick, when you said you wanted to know what I was thinking you never said it has to be fair or make sense! You just wanted to know. And if you think I am whining too much too early – what are you going to do about it? Huh???

Kallisto said...
Nick, if it feels like a drought to PK, it feels like one! I get spanked and sex every day, barring the occasional day when it can't be worked in, usually due to illness. I get weepy if it hasn't happened by 7 pm or so. It is all perception. Hugs, Kallisto

Kallisto thank you!! I like knowing I am not the only one who gets upset before there is any reason to be upset!

MaggieDear said...
Even though this is days later, why do I feel like PK will be doing all of her teaching standing up at the earliest possible moment, if not already?Hang in there girl! It will right itself soon!~Hugs!

You could be right. I don’t really know if Nick is in the mood to spank me or ring my neck!! And he is right about one thing. We really haven’t had any time to ourselves. I am having that ‘be careful what you wish for feeling’.

AngelBrat said...
PK this is such a heartfelt post, and I've so been there. In fact, it feels a little drought-ish around here right now! I know things will come around for you guys, and kudos for you for opening your mouth, er browser about it and saying something! That's always the hardest part for me, and it's always because I feel like "Well, he's given me this long..." What I always end up being shown is that he does this because of his love for me, and he's certainly not run out of that! Hugs,Tracy

I guess I am not the only spanko with communication problems! Good! You keep telling me to talk and I will do the same for you!

7 comments:

  1. Love seeing all your comments! :-) We have those too! Been a few weeks here!

    Carye

    ReplyDelete
  2. A little late here... but have enjoyed catching up. Some wonderful wisdom here. We've had down times too. What works for us is... Email. We met online and were friends for years before we became a couple, so Emailing is a very natural and comfortable thing for us to do. It always us to express our thoughts and desires in a clear way. Can say exactly what is meant... and not get emotionally upset in doing so.

    Your post sounded a lot like some of our Emails. Simple things, expressed with love and kindness.

    :)
    Todd & Suzy

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ok, You got it! Pack Mollie's stuff from a weekend from home so you two can have the house to your selves.

    I think this is new for me commenting on comments.

    What we need here is a good old cyber party with lots of protein shakes for Eva. Lots of spanking and what ever else might go on hehehe

    *hugs and grins*

    ReplyDelete
  4. PK, of course we were perfect, not.
    A relationship is a slippery, sliding thing, you are never where you quite think you are, in short it's a long term job, the love that you have for the other fades if not nurtured, watered by words, fed by touch, touch can be anything from a kiss, a caress, a held hand, a massage or indeed a stinging spank.
    Still I like Davids idea, it's been too long since we've had a party.
    PK, may you sit sensitive very soon.
    Love and warm hugs,
    Paul.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Well it looks like we all got what we wished for!!

    Details to come!

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  6. Scout8:41 AM

    Having just had our 1st long weekend to ourselves *in 6 years* and our 1st since starting spanking, I wholeheartedly endorse the idea of a spanking getaway. Does wonders. Great advice from all about natural dips and valleys over the long haul in a relationship. Getting reconnected makes the love stronger. You and Nick have something special, have no fears. But, remember he's of that other gender - tell him, tell him, tell him what you want! He'll appreciate it. Heck, the hardest thing was telling him the first time. Make talking about it natural and doing it becomes natural. Great to hear that things are going well for you now, though. Off to the gym before our scheduled "lunch date!" (One of resolutions made during rompous weekend.) Cheers, Scout

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  7. I can relate to so much of this...I am almost caught up in you blog...then I will start on Eva's :-)

    ReplyDelete